[Deej]

Those are some really really great things to be grateful for! I feel it is so important for me as well to focus on what good I have in my life as opposed to what I do not have. But it baffles me each time, at the end of a 2ww, how my mind flip flops from where it usually is, grateful, to what is missing! Perhaps it is human nature, I do not know.

Originally Posted by lilac

that my resolution for 2008 must be to continue my journey towards motherhood while enjoying the very good things I already have.

[Deej]

Happy New Years Day, ladies. I hope all of had some fun last night, and perhaps a short mental break from ttc...
Aunt Flow came to visit this morning. I have awful cramps (not unusual) and really think this is just a nudge from above to go for the lap surgery! I may have been in denial about how long I have had bad cramps and that it could be endo? I am not sad, I am ready to move on to the next step! Each cycle is a learning experience, and I have come to accept that I will have some time of sadness when I realize I am not pregnant. This cycle was different because I tested, and this is sort of embarrassing, but in the back of my mind I REALLY WANTED TO BELIEVE the tests were not sensitive enough, that perhaps I had a chance.... Oh well, a girl can have hope, can't she?
Many ladies replied to my post about how many iui's before testing or moving on, and I got some great information.
Please let me know how the new year ended/started for all of you!!

[ELOVE]

Happy New Year my beautiful ladies! I'm writing a little late 'cause I'm sitting here at my friend's house in Tampa. I figure, if fertilization is going to happen, it can here just as well at home staring at the 4 walls.

So I'm loving the 'tude on the this forum. Yes, IF is a struggle but we are going to start celebrating the small things that God has given us.

Lilac, it's awesome you have a job where you feel appreciated and you own your own home (I still rent). Hey by the way, you mentioned your brother looking for a family, is he still singe ?

Deej, that's interesting how no one really knows the "story" behind the faces we encounter. Being in the military, I've seen my fair share of girls who didn't necessarily need to have another kid. I've known girls who get pregnant multiple times right before deployments so they don't have to deploy not because they want another child. We will keep believing our time will come soon. Oh, since you are having bad AF cramps, I'm leaning towards you having the lap. When we were younger bad cramps like the ones you describe were normal (we may have even missed a day of school) but at our age, I don't think cramps should be this bad. I'm sure your final decision will be made when you see your doc. When is that appointment? So sorry about AF, but we are going to take control of our IF this year! It will happen in 2008!

The last thing i want to say is, I've gone back and reread a few of my posts and I know I can ramble (most are long including this one probably ), so if I'm writing too long, please let me know. If you can tell I talk this way too )

Lots of Love Ladies!!

[lilac]

Happy New Year, ladies!

I have decided to start the new year off with a new cycle. Yes, that's right, AF is here! Finally. And she brought some cramps with her. Ouch!

Deej, you are not the only one who had this tiny little hope that the tests were not sensitive enough (well, for the first day or two, anyway - after that I had to accept it). I like to think of it as part of thinking positive and having hope. But anyway, we are now on the same cycle!

[lilac]

Erica, we must have been writing at the same time! I gather you went to the party last night? I hope you had a good time... I am picturing your bean on its way right now. Years to come you can tell your child they were conceived in Tampa...

That's awful that women get pregnant just so they won't have to deploy, but I can totally imagine it happening... I am comforted by the fact that when I have a child, they will be truly wanted, you know?

All this talk about cramps is making me more positive about my lap, too. Maybe endo is my problem...

Yes, I own my own home... it's pretty tiny (not a cheap city where I live) but it's mine! My brother is still single - or at least he was on Boxing Day... who knows who he met last night?

You are not writing too long! If you talk this way too, well this just means we are getting to know you, right?

[Deej]

I do not believe a post could be too long... Reading what you ladies post is the one positive thing in my life that is a constant! I know it will be here. Yes, the attitude and spirit is awesome. Lets keep it up! This year should be awesome for all of us! I know I sure need the pick me ups during the last half of a 2ww, and you all were very much here for me.
Lilac: we received the same new year gift... oh well! perhaps endo is what has been keeping us from our pregnancies. goodness, there are many worse things than endo, i have read success stories on this forum of women w/endo getting pregnant. i will feel much better when the doc blows me up and looks around! if all is clear, i will continue with my iui's, with the renewed hope knowing there IS nothing wrong.
Erica: i have one single brother, but he is 19. haha! i have no advice on dating while ttc. my biggest fear is to think this is "THE ONE" and delay my ttc. if any man wants me, he has gotta be on the same page as to what i am doing... i am 37, and have come to accept that my desire to have a child and the odds of me finding a man and figuring if he is "THE ONE" would take longer than I have fertility speaking... so the whole package, so to speak, is coming in bits and pieces!

[lilac]

I totally agree. I like the long posts and I love the attitude and spirit we have going on here of late.

I have not really dated since I started ttc. I mean a few dates here and there, but I've not really seriously tried. If I met someone great I'd go for it, but there's this part of me that's afraid that with someone great I might be tempted to halt my ttc journey and if it didn't work out, lose my chance to conceive. Honestly, I'd love to have a partner, but I've been single for much of my life, and I want a child more than I want a husband. Okay, really, I want both! So I'm just taking it as it comes in that department and keeping on with ttc.

So, Erica, my brother is not 19 (thank goodness, he was AWFUL at 19) but he appears to like slightly younger women... so even at 30, he may be too young for you!

[KuddleyGal]

Happy New Year ladies. 2008 will be our year!!!

[Deej]

Kuddlygal: How were your holidays?
Are we all ready to continue our TTC journey with new strength and positive attitude? I went to a New Year event today at a movement studio that was a way to say goodbye to 2007 and invite in 2008... Metal bowls and gongs from Tibet were played, it was really incredible! I am going to order a cd to listen to when I meditate... For those of you that do music share via yahoomusic, let me know!

[alleykag]

Ya'll have been busy since I was last on the computer.
New Year's was ok. I got stuck going into a bar where the average age was 25. It was very depressing!!!! I was ready to take my 39 yr old tired self home. whew. I won't be doing that again.
I have started stims. I did my u/s on mon. My lining was good for me (7) and I had about 7 follicles around 12-13 in size. I upped my follistim and will re u/s wed. i think. I forgot what it felt like to be blown up with the meds. whew. it hurts, but worth it.
I am going to use the California Cryobank. My md rec. them to me.
Sorry to hear about the different losses to the bfn. It gets old, I know! But just stay focused on the goal. My first re said he did 11 iui's on a lady until she finally got pg.
Somebody asked about a hysterscope. I have had several. They are a bit uncomfortable but no worse then everything else we have all been through. You will be placed in stirrups and a camera will be inserted through your cervix and co2 pumped in and they will look at the uterus from the inside. They should be checking for polyps, scar tissue or any type of abnormality that may inhibit implantation. Take some Motrin prior to and get the heating pad ready.
Here's my other thoughts after reading some posts. I have researched clomid way early on my infertilty path. Everything you read will say stop it after 3 rounds. Although, it's cheap and easy it can cause some other problems, ie, with its antiestrogen effects it can decrease the size of your lining. I wish I would have never used that for the many cycles that I did. I would have switched to injectables after 2 months of clomid. There are cheaper places to find the follistim and other like meds. Pm me and I will tell you my experience.
Good luck to everybody.
Welcome Kuddley Gal. I remember your signature from before. Glad to have you!
Kim

[lilac]

Kim, thanks for the info on the hysteroscopy. That's pretty much as it was described to me, too. Mine will be done under a general as my RE is doing a lap at the same time, so at least I won't actually have to feel it at the time... I am expecting to be pretty sore after, though! Looking forward to hearing about your u/s tomorrow.

Deej, that sounds really neat! I've never used YahooMusic but I'd love to hear... pls tell me how! And I'm on board with the new strength and positive attitude!

Nasty cramps for me today. Thankfully, my cousin gave me a heating pad for Christmas... she's such a dear. They (thank god) seem to abating, finally. Just as well, as I have to work tomorrow (but REALLY don't want to). I'm hoping the next time AF is so delayed for me is because of a BFP (the power of positive thought!).

Happy New Year all!

[Deej]

Elove: i hope you made it back safely from your new years road trip!
Lilac: bad cramps for me as well...
My doctor's appointment is tomorrow at 1pm. My mom is actually going with me, which will be nice to have the extra ears with me. She went for my first IUI but has not ever sat down with me and the doctor while we discussed what will be our next step. I have a list of questions to ask and feel excited about moving on to whatever is next on my journey to motherhood! Thank you girls for the love, support, encouragement and advice! I am very blessed...

[jencat215]

Just had to put my 2 cents in here about clomid. I am going to start my 11th, yes you read that right, 11th cycle of clomid in 3 days (CD2 for me today...). Anyway, last cycle, clomid #10, my lining on CD14 was 9.9mm! That was the highest it had ever been. I do attribute that to the acupuncture I have been doing- I went 2 or 3x last cycle, only been 3 or 4x (bad memory here). I am going again in 8 days. It is really relaxing. And it really does increase blood flow to the uterus. I was on clomid with my ob/gyn for 7 cycles (I DON'T recommend this-I was never monitored), then 3 with my last RE, and my current RE will let me do 3 more. I told him only 1 more clomid/IUI cycle. Then move my sorry butt up to IVF. But this time he is actually going to do a clomid challenge, which is where they do CD3 b/w (E2, FSH) and you take 100mg clomid CD5-9, then CD10 another E2, FSH b/w. I can't believe the other RE never did this with me. Makes me mad.

Anyway, clomid does suck because I get really moody on it. But I have conceived 4x on it-1 ectopic, 1 m/c, 2 chemicals. So it does work, just my body doesn't want to keep the pg!

Anyway, seems like lots of us are starting our cycles right about now. Good luck to us all. 2008 is going to be an amazing year for all of us.

[Deej]

Jen: thank you for sharing your experience with clomid! sorry it makes you moody, i took it once, and was fine mood wise, but had 2 mini hot flashes! it did make me produce 5 follicles, so i think that was good! i have my pre ROUND 5 appt tomorrow... if you can think of anything i should ask, your advice is always wanted!
peace - deedee

[kblythe]

Hey y'all. I had a good first u/s. One little bugger in there with a good heartbeat. I had a scare though. The u/s technician didn't say squat for the longest time, and I thought she was searching but not finding anything. Turns out she spotted one immediately, but was just looking to see if she could find a 2nd! One is plenty, though!

Kathryn.