[Anel]

Thank you for starting this tread! The idea of surrogacy is always at the back of my mind due to my Asherman. I have one more question, how long it took you from the beggining to the end ( Embrio transfer)?

Thank you and I wish you good luck!

[ashley84]

I thougth I would bump this thread. I am using a surrogate later this year. I have PCOS and RE could not get me to ovulate. My little sister is going to use her eggs and DH sperm after her 21st birthday. I know it sounds early but she has a child of her own and has been wanting to do this for us for a long time. I finally said yes. Best wishes for all the ladies and their SM..

Ashley

[Lotus]

Ashley-how exciting for you to be starting your journey this year. I hope you come here often and post updates. You are very lucky to have such a selfless sister. I'm assuming you two live close to each other? I know a lot of surrogates live away from the parents, so the parents are not able to see the pregnancy progess every day, which I imagine is hard to deal with sometimes.

Did anyone happen to catch Sunday Morning this past Sunday? They had a segment on surrogates which I thought was very interesting and well done. One good point I thought they made was that GCs aren't in it for the money-those who are drop out once they find out all the testing and drugs involved. It made the point that as a rule, only women who are truly interested in helping other women are GCs and that no one is being exploited or taken advantage of.

[Lotus]

Below is a link to the Sunday Morning website with a transcript of the piece I was talking about. (A criticism: they refer to an IVF embryo as a "test tube baby"-I hate that phrase and think it is TOTALLY outdated.)

Surrogates: Redefining Motherhood, More Than Two Decades After Baby M, More Couples Are Using Surrogate Mothers To Carry Their Embryos - CBS News

[ashley84]

Thank you for the warm welcome. I have been on different sites before and they actual closed down I was so bummed. As for my little sister, she lives in Michigan and I am in Colorado. But she wants us to be as involved as possible so I am having her move in with us for the next year or so. She just had a baby in November so I have to wait a little while, but that gives me time to work on the nursery. I have waited so long to say that. We had a house in Florida that we closed off on room and said it was going to be the nursery one day. I move 3 years later and the only thing that was in that room was my parents when they came to visit. Thanks for the link for Saturday Morning I will have to take a look.

If anyone has any ideas for a surrogate gift I am starting my search now for the perfect gift.

Ashley

[wannabigbabybelly]

Just wanted to say congrats to the OP. I just checked out your website and you have 11 days before your little ones arrive!!! How AWESOME!!! Enjoy every minute of their tiny babyhood. The time flies by sooooo fast. I imagine with twins it flies by even faster.

[carisa1978]

Ashley, sorry I haven't been on this thread for so long as it is usually dead, but just noticed there are some new people that have posted. I just wanted to say congratulations!! That is awsome that your sister is willing to give you her eggs. That is a great sister you have there, she must love you a lot! I'm also excited for you to go through the whole surrogacy process. I must say that it is worth every ounce of stress that is involved! I look forward to hearing how everything goes with you. Feel free to send me a private message anytime you may have a question or two. I'm having a hard time trying to think of a great gift for a surrogate. Maybe a gift cert to a spa for a massage or something like that? I don't know, that's a hard one. I know that once they are very pregnant, a good gift would be a nice body pillow to help them sleep. My surrogate, or GC, got a body pillow and is in love with it!

Anel-Wanted to answer your question on how long it took us from beginning to end. Well, we did the whole IVF process last year. I started my shots around May 20th, my egg retreival was around June 5th, with the embryo transfer into my surrogate on June 10th. It is now just about February, and my surrogate is about to give birth in about a week with our twins. So it's been a long process but well worth the wait!

Lotus-I totally agree. Test tube baby is way outdated. It seems like something I heard a lot in the eighties.

wannabigbabybelly-Thanks for checking out my blog. We have had so much fun with it! Yes, tomorrow we will only have 9 days left. I can't believe it!!! We will post pictures of the big day the night they are born. We have a lot of family and friends here in CA that won't be able to go out to NC with us to get our babies so we will definitely be updating our blog.

Woodyanita-Thanks for the congrats! We are thrilled and excited beyond belief.

[surromummy76]

Jus t wanted to say the very best of luck 2 you

I am a Host Surrogate and given birth to 2 sets of twins for 2 couples and it was one of the best experiences of my life...apart from having my own children :-)

I am now doing the Surrogacy for the 3rd time and now in our 2WW....hope the rest of the pregnancy is smooth, Good Luck

Catherine xx

[Lotus]

Just a quick congrats to Carissa! I've been keeping up with your blog and your little babies are ADORABLE!!

[crob]

i just had a question about surrogacy and i thought maybe some of you ladies could answer it for me. at what point and how do you determine you need a surrogate. i had a chemical ectopic w/ ivf and now it looks like my 2nd ivf was a bust w/ two 5AA blasts that were already hatching. i was just wondering if we need to have pgd testing done on the 5 embies we have frozen or if it's obviously something wrong w/ my stupid body as to why we can't get pg. we live in tx (but my dr is in louisiana) and i noticed that one lady on here said you have to adopt your baby from your surrogate. i'll do some research on that, but i wonder if it's like carissa said, where you go a few wks early and get all the paperwork done ahead of time. also, my best friend has offered to be my surrogate if i need one. is that a bad thing to do? using a known surrogate? my sil also offered. but she lives a long ways away and i would want to go to all the dr's appts and stuff. i guess you have to get some legal stuff done even when using a known surrogate? sorry for all the questions...i'm just trying to wrap my mind around this a little better.

[crob]

well, i'm answering one of my own questions. here's the information i found regarding surrogacy in tx (Legal Status of Surrogacy in Texas). it looks like tx has some pretty good surrogacy laws and you don't even have to adopt the baby or do any paperwork to get your name on the birth certificate. you get approved for the surrogacy at least 14 days prior to the ET and it's all taken care of from there.

man, like i said, this is a lot to wrap your mind around. it's sad to be giving up the actual pregnancy process. but i guess if that's the only way to have a baby. sigh.....

[Lotus]

Crob-I think I was the one who said you had to adopt your baby if you use a surrogate in Texas and that was only from listening to what my boss at the time and his wife were going through, which was 5 or 6 years ago, so I'm sure things have changed since then. Also "adoption" was probably the word my boss used but may not have been the correct term.

As for when you know it's time to move on to using a surrogate-I would guess you need to talk to your RE. My case is easy-I had an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of my daughter so no more pregnancies for me. Your RE might have some ideas for you before going the surrogacy route.

As far as knowing your surrogate-that's a tough one. On the one hand, I think it would give you tremendous peace of mind to live close to the surrogate and to know her personally. That way you can experience the pregnancy with her and you would know that she is taking care of herself and your baby. Also, it is cheaper to use your own surrogate-no agency fees. You just need to hire a lawyer to draw up the contract (and she might want her own lawyer to review the contract as well). On the other hand, having more of a "business relationship" with the surrogate where all ties are cut after the birth is appealing too. If I had a close friend who offered, I would take her up on it, but that's just me.

I know what you mean about wrapping your brain around not being pregnant. I am so thankful I was able to be pregnant once but I have been mourning the loss of my ability to have more children. Infertility is tough enough-you already have to wrap your brain around not getting pregnant on your own and after you accept that you need medical intervention and figure out how you're going to afford it, you have yet another obstacle put in front of you. And every option is more expensive than the last. The only good thing that comes from all of this is that our kids will never be able to think that we didn't want them! The kids on these boards are the most wanted children in the world.

[jenedens6102]

Carissa, your twins are adorable. I made sure I looked through every picture and read every post you've made from their birth. It just brings tears to my eyes! While I'm sure you guys are very tired, what a beautiful blessing to have those twins in your life. Congratulations!

[Gina79]

Carissa,

I had a question about surrogacy. My best friend had offered to be our surrogate which would be in the next year because we just lost our twins recently. Do you know if it would still cost $20,000? Does insurance cover anything? We live in Massachusetts and ivf is covered by insurance here. I'm not sure about surrogacy though.Didn't know if you had any insight. Thanks

[ashley84]

Gina~ I think it depends on where you live and what the friend want for compensation. My sister is going to be a surrogate for us in July and from what I can find out it is only going to cost us $800 for the procedure.. Her eggs and Dh sperm and then the adoption fees for me to adopt my husbands child. If that makes sense. If you are using your own eggs with IVF then it might be around 20k. I would say just ask some doctors and call the insurance companies. Sorry if I was not much help.