[Meliny]

I miscarried last April, and what a wordless horror it was. It was my first pregnancy--unexpected, accidental--but my DH and I greeted it ecstatically, with divine joy and single-minded planning. I know it's kind of futile to look for meaning in the experience. But among other things, it's made me realize just how ready I am to be a mother at this point in my life. My DH and I realized how much we would sacrifice and devote to this aim; we glimpsed the bottomless happiness it would bring us.

I'm eager to begin trying again. But I'm curious, how long after a loss did some of you wait? When did you know you were physically and, even more poignantly, emotionally ready? Did you feel fully healed? How did your DH feel about trying again?

I'd be so grateful for any insight or personal experience you could share. My mummy aspirations are still so strong.

[Persephone1881]

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. The pain never fully goes away, but it significantly lessens with time.

I suffered an ectopic pregnancy this past January. I didn't really have a lot of time to get attached the my bean since there was barely a week between my first positive beta and the determination that it was, in one way or another, a non-viable pregnancy. But regardless of that short time, I was still completely crushed. But knowing that I could get pregnant and that I would be able to try again helped me get through it. After my D&C (which is how they determined it was ectopic since they found no pregnancy tissue in my uterus), I had to have a methotrexate injection that forced us to have to wait about 2 months to start trying again. I was incredibly impatient to get going again and I had an overwhelming feeling that the next cycle would be the one for us.

If you and your DH feel emotionally ready to try again, then I say go for it. Only the two of you can decide when you are ready again. Best of luck to the both of you!

[chuchu]

Meliny,

I am very sorry for your loss! I m/c at 8 weeks and had a D&C. It was the worst 2 weeks of my life but I am doing much better now.

RE said to wait 3 regular periods to try again. I think that is a reasonable time for your body and mind to heal.

[Meliny]

What incredible mom's you'll both be. Your support means the world to me. DH and I are ready to give things another go. You'll be in my thoughts and very best baby wishes.

[jenedens6102]

We waited three months between our miscarriage and trying again, mainly because of the methotrexate injection I was given. But also to get back into my cycles so I knew where things were. I wish you all the best and pray a blessing comes your way very soon.

[Highopes]

Meliny - I'm sorry for your lost. I had a m/c at 6 1/2weeks & ended up having a d & c about 2 months ago. I have just had my 2nd period since & will be seeing my RE next month to start the ball rolling again. The healing does get better with time & some days are better than others (when I started my period this week, I was very emotional & wondering if I would get pregnant again).

[Meliny]

Hi Hopes. I'm so sorry for your loss too. I can fully relate to your emotional periods. It's peculiar...I never really had painful periods before my M/C, but I had terrible cramps for the first few cycles after it. And from an emotional standpoint, every time old Aunt Flo came to town, some irrational part of me felt like my M/C was happening all over again; I would be hit by a massive wall of grief. Perhaps it sounds a little hippie/new age to say, but I think our bodies remember our wounds, especially the ones we haven't fully healed from. These days, I'm trying very hard to direct my attention to the present (as opposed to the past) and to think instead about the things that I do want (I want a family, I want motherhood, I want extraordinary health for me and our future baby). It's been a challenge, but it's certainly been better for me that concentrating on the things I don't want. I used to walk around all day thinking (I don't want another miscarriage, I don't want to be barren, etc.) I wish you extraordinary luck once you start trying again. We'll get there, I know it!

[rebekkahlahey]

Hello,
I wanted to say how sorry I am you had to join us here on the miscarraige board. Ive had three myself. After the third, we had a grieving ritual and planted a tree in their memory and that was when I knew I was ready to be serious. Its hard to grieve when your loss is so early you have nothing to hold on to. The tree gave me that. I am now trying again with fertility treatments. I feel less stressed now that I gave myself time to grieve. Its been 2 months since the tree planting, a year since loss of baby 1 Bruce, 7 months since we lost joplin, and 5 months since we lost joy.
I hope you decide whats best for you and become at peace with your decisions.

[frymomma2b]

How far along were you. I was 7 weeks the first time and 6 1/2 the second and both times we started trying immediately. It is your emotion more than your body that needs healing so if it is time for your heart your body should be just fine.

[frymomma2b]

Oh i should add that the Dr. cleared me for it because i passed all the tissue on my own and was back to normal with in a week.

[ttc2008]

I MISCARRIED MARCH 13TH 2008
HAD A D&c ON MARCH 17TH 2008
STARTED TRYING AGAIN MAY 2ND 2008
EVERY MONTH SINCE THEN I GET