[Meliny]

Forgive me, ladies. My husband's out of town and I have no one else to talk to. (We made the mistake of telling friends and family about our last pregnancy, which ended in m/c. So this time around, my support network's rather sparse.)

I'm eight weeks pregnant to the day, which is the precise time when I had my last m/c, and I'm so on edge! Every time I pee, I'm afraid I'll see blood. Every day, I wonder, "Are my breasts as sore as they were yesterday? Are my symptoms disappearing? Are we going to have to live through such a horrific loss again?"

We saw our new little bean's heartbeat on an u/s at six and a half weeks and our doc, who is very compassionate and sensitive about our past experience, told us then that my uterus, the egg yolk and the baby's size all looked exactly as they ought to. But we know, better than anyone, the way everything can change on a dime.

Sorry this is a bit of a rant. But our doc just postponed our next appointment, and as a result, we haven't yet found out our beta and progesterone levels. Is it right to assume that he'd call if something looked low? Should I call in between appointments and be sure?

Man, I just want to celebrate and make my announcements! But instead I'm primed for one more month of nail-biting, hypochondria, and irrational tears. Thanks for listening! I'm so horribly scared!

[kblythe]

Yes, your doctor almost certainly would have called if something were wrong. So there is every likelihood that everything is just perfect. But I understand your panic completely, because I lived it. After a m/c, a chemical pregnancy, and several flat out failures, I was so pessimistic it was ridiculous. I never allowed myself to enjoy and celebrate my pregnancy. At least now I can enjoy and celebrate my son!

Congratulations. You're pregnant. Try not to drive yourself crazy for the next 32 weeks.

Kathryn

[Hopefulmommy09]

I am in the same boat you are. I am so worried that something will happen. It makes me sick to my stomach. Every waiting minute of the day I am worried. I don't really know what to tell you as I can't seem to tell myself anything. The only thing I can do is keep myself busy. We are going to another town today to see friends (none of know I am pregnant and I don't plan on telling them). One more day down.....I just live for my next ultrasound.

I hear you with the m/s it will come and go and when it is gone I want it back. I am constanly pinching my nipples to see if they are sensitive. It is eating up my life.

I hope this is your time and my time. Maybe we could pray for each other!

[Starflower]

I can understand what you are feeling, the waiting to reach the 'safe' period is so hard.

Finally when we hit week 11-12, just recently, I stopped expecting blood every time I went to the bathroom. Like you, I would also over analyze every symptom...my chest would feel less sore and I would think "this is it, it's over". I suppose it is a defence mechanism in a way (to always expect the worse).

We are finally feeling comfortable enough to start telling people (losing the fear of having to 'untell' them).

Any chance of booking another ultrasound sometime soon, just for some reassurance?

If you can do something to distract yourself from the pregnancy, I would suggest that as well...go to the gym, visit friends etc. It will help make the time go by faster hopefully.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Anne