[Bullywrinkles]

Cindy,

Good to have you back! I was wondering how you have been. My AF post d&c was weird too. None of the usual stuff (cramps, acne). I am glad your body is getting back on track. And it sounds as if you have a good attitude about patience. That is definately something I struggle with sometimes. and keep us posted as to how you are doing.


Beauti-mom,
Congrats and Being pregnant again after a loss seems to bring about much more emotions. It can be hard to be excited when you have experinced such scary and sad times. I know I have trouble finding that place of happiness about this because I am so darned scared it will be taken away again. We welome you here and hope to help you through. I can't wait to hear your beta!

Maren,
How are you and the babies doing?

Samantha,
Friday is amost here! How are you feeling?

Dre,
Continued and

I hope the rest of the saddle club is faring well. Many have not posted in a while and I really hope it is because everyone is doing great. to you all!

AFM, Friday needs to hurry up and get here. I am all over the place emotionally and really need some reassurance. Sometimes I can't help but feel like this is a replay of past events. I am a bit terrified to sit in that same u/s room and look at those same posters on the wall. I really want to be nothing but blissfully happy but I know that it may be a while before I can relax about all this. I tried to tell myself that after we see a hb I will relax. But in truth I think I may need more then that to chill. Fridays u/s may be a little early to see the hb..so I know I will be asking to come in again soon to recheck. I guess I just hate the waiting and the anxeity about asking to come back. I just wish I had my pregnancy virginty back and all the innocence that goes with.

But, I am still trying my best to stay strong and positive. I had m/s all day yesterday so that is good. I forced myself to get over my fear and join the due date group. I was nervous about that because one of the hardest things last time was telling a bunch of pregnant women what happened. They were sad and scared. I was so heartbroken to get kicked out of the club and to know they were continuing on. I don't want to relive that. Every day someone new joins and so far everone has had great u/s reports. In a way I am scared it will be me to not make it again. DH tells me I need to relax and just becasue they are are doing great does not mean that I can't have that too. It's not like ok, at least 3 of you wont make it so chances are it may be you. I just have to keep with the mantra that this pregnancy is different. Sorry for the long rant. I just can't always push those dark thoughts aside.

For the most part though I am doing well. It has been nice outside this week so I have been walking the dogs and enjoying the sunshine. DH has been very positive and is my rock right now. I just can't wait for friday and am really for happy news.

[BeautiMom-to-be]

Originally Posted by Bullywrinkles

I just wish I had my pregnancy virginity back and all the innocence that goes with.

So well said! That's exactly how I feel!

I'm still waiting to hear back from my RE's office with my Beta results from yesterday. I love them in general, but this is one thing I do NOT like...they are so slow in getting back to me with results! I left a message an hour and a half ago...Don't they know I'm losing my mind over here?!?

Thanks so much for your warm welcome, Bullywrinkles, and I pray your ultrasound on Friday goes amazingly well! Chances are, it will, though I definitely know how hard it is to hold to that!

[SouthhamptonS]

Lisa -I have been thinking of you and I can't wait to hear how things went:-)

AFM It is a . I tested Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and they were all so not much of a suprise just sad. I have phone consult with RE on Wed to discuss what next steps will be since this cycle was not the best.

I hope everyone is doing well and you have a great weekend.

Samantha

[Bullywrinkles]

U/s was today and thankfully we saw 1 fetal pole with a hb. I am so happy! We go back in 2 weeks for the next u/s. Hoping and our bean continues to grow. But for now I am going to do my best to relax and enjoy this time.

Samantha,

I am so sorry this cycle did not work out as hoped. What do you suspect the RE will say weds?

[SouthhamptonS]

Lisa - So happy for you . It must have been so nice to see that heartbeat!!! I will be for a healthy pregnancy. Hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you and DH

I think my RE will change my protocol. I think I was overly supressed(sp?). So I am hoping for no BCP and no Lupron. But who knows. My previous 2 cycles I had 15 eggs 12 mature and 18 eggs 12 mature this one was 5 eggs 4 mature does not make sense! My cycle with 18 eggs was 6 months ago?? Who knows. So hoping for some clarity.

Samantha

[WorldsGreatestAunt]

Hi ladies, sorry I've been mia for awhile. First off, I'm sorry Southhampton that this was not your cycle, I was really hoping it was. If they don't supress then can you start again right away or will you wait a cycle??

Lisa, !! I'm so happy for you, you must be very relieved! I'm in my 2ww for my next u/s and am nervous as well. Although the m/s is keeping my mind very occupied

Beautimom- I see you got your BFP in your signature, HUGE congratulations!!!! And what a great first beta and progesterone!

Popcorn, thats good that AF came to town already. Mine were weird both times as well. One was super heavy the other weirdly light. I also didn't have my normal symptoms. I figure its your body saying "you've been through enough, i'll skip the cramps this time." I hope otherwise you are doing well and taking it easy.

Anj, Daisy & Jen, how are you guys doing??

Dre, for you and you family. We miss you

AFM, no change right now. Still a little brown junk and I'm starting to wonder if its ever going to go away. i mean its been a month! I guess I should be thankful that I know its old blood from the blood they saw in the uterus and as of last visit wasn't hurting the babies. I'm just very anxious for my next u/s this Friday. Otherwise I had a one day reprieve from m/s but otherwise it hangs around most of all days. While its rough, I was more scared the day I didn't have it, so for my piece of mind I think its neccessary. Oh and my dreams are out of the world everynight. Last night though was the first time I dreamt about the babies. It feels alot more real now and I'm hoping this dream will allow me to become more connected to them, which has been hard since I think I'm protecting myself until the 12 week mark.

Ok, well we have a open house tomorrow so I better do a little more cleaning, albeit very very light cleaning. I'll leave the hard stuff for hubby

[Bullywrinkles]

Samantha,
Yeah it does sound like a change in protocol is in order. I hope you get good answers and a clear plan for the future. Hang in there!

Maren,
So yes, m/s is a good thing and although you feel yucky it is probably reassuring. I know I have noticed more m/s this time. Yesterday was horrible in the morning but my nerves probably were part of that too. For now I just get waves of nausea when I am up and about, especially if I have not eaten in a while. I hope friday goes great and you have fun seeing your little beans. The wait between u/s is hard. And yes it is harder to connect to our beans like before. Yesterday I was happy after the u/s but not grinning from ear to ear like last time. Hopefully the second trimester will bring about a change and we can relax a bit more. I know you have been through so much and are doing a great job of staying strong. Good luck at the open house!

[BeautiMom-to-be]

Maren and Lisa-

You guys are so right, I was actually excited a couple of days ago when I first had m/s because it reassured me that everything was OK! I haven't had it too bad for the last 24 hours...just some smells that made me feel queasy...and it makes me nervous.

I'm having bad dreams the last couple of nights...during the day I'm staying pretty optimistic, but my subconscious is really letting me stress out all night. Last night I had dreams that I lost the baby and they were so real, it literally took me an hour this morning to reassure myself that everything was still OK. I don't normally remember my dreams at all, and I wish that was the case now!

Maren, good luck at your ultrasound on Friday! Lisa, when's your next ultrasound scheduled for?

[Bullywrinkles]

Heather,
Ugh! The dreaded dreams. I know what you mean. I have found that no matter how good you feel about this pregnancy those fears will creep up on you at night. You are not alone. But, hang in there. Hopefully they will subside.

My next u/s is 4/3. So, 11 days and counting! The m/s is still around and I have been so tired. Like a zombie really. So, that everything is good and the baby is growing. I also noticed I am very emotional lately. I picked a big fight with poor DH over the cable bill. Then today I started weeping when watching the TODAY Show. OK, so hormonal ya think?

[WorldsGreatestAunt]

We are a mess ladies! I however have been loving my nighttime movie theatre. I have never had dreams like this, I wake up feeling like I've spend the whole night watching the next good movie. But fortunatly none have been bad baby dreams, the closest was last night when a lady shot a bazoka at me...she missed My day time fears are much worse. I posted a thread in after fertility treatments about the brown spotting and got a lot of good responses so I'm feeling a little better. Today its just tinged cm so that makes me happy. I think after the next u/s I'm going to let myself relax a bit more.

I found these statistics that have made me feel better so I thought I'd share, although I'd feel even better if I didn't have the spotting:


*For women with no vaginal bleeding, most estimates suggest that the odds or having a miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat are about 4%.

*For women with vaginal bleeding but also a detected heartbeat on ultrasound, risk of miscarriage is about 13% according to one study.

*One study found that about 17% of women with a history of recurrent miscarriages (3 or more) will miscarry after seeing a heartbeat on the ultrasound.

*Mothers over 35 also face significant miscarriage risk after ultrasound detects a heartbeat, even though the risk does drop after detecting the heartbeat. A 1996 study found that women over 36 have a 16% risk of miscarriage at this point, and women over 40 have a 20% risk.

[Bullywrinkles]

Hi ladies!

It's been quiet over here lately. Hope you all are doing well.

Things are going good for me. Just hanging out waiting till that next u/s. I did poas again yesterday (I cant help myself). It came up fast and dark. I stil am very tired and now have daily m/s so I am really this all points to a healthy pregnancy.

If anyone is still out there I would love to hear how you are doing. Continued thoughts and for you all!

[BeautiMom-to-be]

Hello!

Time seems to be ticking by soooo slowly...I'm with you, Lisa! I was really encouraged by those stats you shared, Maren...hopefully I'll see a hb at my first ultrasound on 4/8 and then I'll feel a lot better! I'm also hoping I'll be a little less anxious after the end of this week, which will mean I got past when I lost the pregnancy last time.

Hope everyone's having a great day!

[popcorn5221]

Hi Lisa and to the rest of the ladies. Sorry I've been neglecting you all but just been enjoying the on/off warm weather we've been getting and trying to get some stuff done outside. Walking the dogs and getting the yard ready for flowers and veggies, etc. Also doing some shopping for our mini-vacation coming up in a few weeks. Right after the m/c, all I could think about was just getting away. Not facing anything or anyone. Couldn't do it right away because of work(have to plan things in advance) but it would give me something else to focus on. So I booked us a getaway to Key West in April. It took my mind off the m/c for a bit but I've finally come to grips with it. So much so that I finally told my little sister. She's the only one in the family that knows about our being treated by an RE and trying to start a family. She was so comforting and supportive. Then she tells me I'm a strong person for going through all of this and wanting to start a family. She tells me "I can't even think or imagine about having an 8lb or so baby-human life coming out my va-jayjay! Ah-no!" I laughed my a** off. Leave it to my baby sis to lift my spirits. Otherwise, I've been feeling physically ok. After visited that one week, everything was fine for about five days then it started all over again. Talk about confused. I found a post from Daisy on one of the other threads, as she was going through the same thing. It lasted about two weeks for her and I'll be at two weeks on saturday. It has tapered off a lot the past few days. I didn't call the doc as it never was a super heavy flow or major clots(sorry if tmi) or severe pain. So now I'm just in a waiting game. Tomorrow will be 6wks post d&c, so I'll give the RE a call so we can start testing again. I poas last week just to see if my levels had gone down, but it still came up with two lines. UGH!
How are you handling the m/s? I see your passing time waiting for the u/s by poas!(LOL) Just joking. I'm glad to see the u/s went well and that you were able to see hb.

Maren-How are you doing? How did your open house go? Wishing you lots of happy daytime and nitetime dreams. for a great u/s on fri.

Beauti-Congrats on the and everything goes well with the u/s.

Sam-Sorry it didn't work out this time. What has the doc suggested treatment wise?

To all the other saddle club ladies and prayers. Always thinking of you.

Wishing everyone a great day!

Cindy

[SouthhamptonS]

Hi Ladies - It is so exciting to hear about ultrasounds I hope the time flies by for you Lisa, Maren and Heather ! MS is so great!! It always made me feel so much better.

Cindy - How nice to tell your sister. It will be nice to have that extra support. So your trip will be here soon! How nice to get away into the warm sun. How long will you be going for?

AFM - I spoke to RE today and we are changing protocol. I will be on antogonist(sp?). No lupron . I start the pill tonight and have supression check on April 14th. I can't believe it is so close. So I will be my eggies are healthy and happy this cycle

everyone is doing well

Samantha

[Bullywrinkles]

Cindy,
I am glad you have been busy doing good stuff for your spirit. We have had some warm days here too. It really makes me want to start planting my flowers! The trip to Key West sounds like a great way to take a break and enjoy some of the good stuff in life. Have you been there before? I have heard it is so pretty. It should be a good time a year to visit too. It sounds like you feel better now that your sis knows and can help with the support. She is right, you are a strong person and you will get through this. Hopefully the wacky AF stuff will start to normalize soon. Keep us posted on how you are and what the RE says. Oh! And enjoy that sping sunshine!

Samantha,
Well, at least you have a new plan. And April is right around the corner! I will definately be this cycle is a good one!

Heather,
The waiting game is oh so fun, right?! And to make it past that point of loss from the last pregnancy will probably really help boost your confidence. I know I have to take things one day at a time. Sometimes even just try to get through this hour. But, hang in there. One day I hope to look back on this bumpy time and realize much of the worry was for nothing. We will get through this!

Maren,
Good luck at tomorrows u/s!

AFM, More m/s, which even though is not so fun I am happy to endure it because I did not have it so bad last time. But I am a little scared right now. Yesterday when I went to get up from sitting on a kitchen stool I had one very sharp painful cramp. Then for the rest of the day menstral like cramps even though I spent the rest of my time on the couch. Today the cramps were still there in the a.m. but not so bad. So, I called the OB and they said if the cramps worsen or if any spotting/bleeding to come in. Otherwise take it easy and I should be fine. As you all know, easier said then done. Now the cramps feel like the did yesterday, or maybe I am just so focused on every little twinge it feels that way. Trying to keep my cool and not freak out here. The m/s was horrible this morning and other symptoms are still around. So, that gives me hope. I guess I will just see how I feel, and maybe go in tomorrow if not back to normal by then. I just wish I knew what the deal is.