[Junia]

Hi ladies, I'm new here (I'm not even from the US) so most of your abbreviations I don't understand but I'm in that horrible 2 week wait with a blood test this coming Monday.

Let me tell you what the 2 week wait is like. The first week is easy. I don't even think about it that much, well I do, but I don't "dwell" on it and I don't get too upset. The 2nd week is hard. I got a cold on Sunday and so I've been sick all week with that, then I had to drive 4 hours on Tuesday to go to my auntie's funeral (she was very elderly and it was expected, but still sad for the family) and boy was I so tired! I had to nap for an hour at my mother's house before going to the funeral, then stay over night and drive back. I had to take 2 days off work because I felt so tired (my brains says ohh! you could be preg, but I know it's more likely the 'flu).

Now every day I don't get a period is a relief but i can't shake it from the back of my mind. I am scared to go to sleep at night because my period has come in the middle of the night before and woke me up. And I'm always running to toilet and checking during the day. Today I found myself fancying maybe this time I was pregnant and so started having little day dreams on the way home from work, but that's dangerous cos if my period starts, then I will just crash even harder. I know it's better not to think about it, and certainly not start up silly day dreams.

Somehow I've got to get thru the weekend. I have 4 nights and 3 days to get thru b4 the bloodtest on Mon morning. I can't let myself think about it but it's so hard. It's always there in the back of my mind, no matter how much I try not to think about it. And tonight I let myself get all sooky over it.

Please don't say oh if it fails you can try again, this is the last cycle I'm doing and I had none to freeze. I had 11 eggs at collection, and 8 fertilised but you know how the numbers drop off over the days, so depressing. They put 2 embryoes in me but they hadn't made blastocyst stage, so I know the chances are slim. I've had a ton of failures in the past and a miscarriage last year and because I actually did get pregnant my doctor suggested one last try, but it took me about a year to work up the courage to try again.

its late and I should be trying to get to sleep but i'm too worked up to go to sleep. I really have to not stress out so much. The 2nd week is really the hardest on us.

sorry this got so long, peace to you all, I know how hard it is for everyone who is doing this.

[bichonbuzz]

Junia,

I am wishing you all the best! This is a hard process for all of us. You are in my thoughts.

to you.

[Ryles]

good luck Junia. I know exactly how you feel. My tww is up on Tuesday. I am excited about it and dreading in all at the same time. Let me know how it goes.