[JessStillWaits]

I was just looking for some support buddies.

My DH and I are on the verge of TTC for 4 years. We have tried IUI's mostly, some injectables, clmoid, and now Femara/ Letrazole.

We have had two miscarriages this year.

I am confused how to feel, it's all sorts of complicated. On the one hand, I am glad we can actually get a BFP. On ther other hand, the losses are devestating. The waiting from month to month to see if this will work.

I am finding that is getting harder as time goes on, not easier. And I think it may be because a lot of peopel around me have recently started to get pregnant, and I am put in a position to have to think about it regularly.

I have been seeing a counselor on and off, and it does help. But I think the only thing that will help is finally getting to hold a little one in my arms.

Sometimes I truly feel it will never happen, or if it does, it will be taken away again.

Any hope or support is appreciated. 3-4 years of your life trying to concieve is so difficult.

[MrsJB]

We hit 5 years in January. It doesn't get any easier. But I am not ready to give up hope of becoming a mom so we keep going forward.

Have they done testing on you due to the miscarriages? Some people have clotting and antibody issues.

[bistro]

Hey Jess and Mrs JB...

We are considered unexplained, but it has not been as long for us. We have been TTC since December 2007, so we are soon closing in on 2 years. It feels like an eternity. I have never been pregnant to my knowledge, which is tough.

My biggest fear is that this will just continue and that it will be hard to try to stay positive with no real diagnosis. Everything we have tried and everything that is left to try to me is just a shot in the dark because we are not necessarily treating the problem since we do not know what it is. It's so frustrating to me.

I have not had a post-coital and will not because I guess the IUI would take care of that if that were the only issue, however, I am planning to ask for a lap if IUI #3 does not work. Apparently, this is the only way to diagnose endo, which I did not know until recently.

Other than that, I suppose that if we have to move to IVF, we will find out if there are egg or hatching issues then.

I would never expect it to get easier, but I am finding ways to COPE more easily. Ways to be more productive about my coping, if you will. I have been doing lots of yoga and acupuncture. I have been eliminating stress at work. I have been excercising the way that makes me happy! I have even been writing down 1 positive thought each day!

Good luck to you!! To all of us! May 2010 bring us all a baby or two . . .or even three!!!

[Ywlb98]

Hi ladies, I too and an unexplained infertility and we have been trying for 6 years. My doctor just keeps telling me the timing is off and we have to get it right. It becomes very frustrating and it just plain sucks. I am on my second round of clomid with injections. The first 3 rounds were just with clomid.

Me-Unexplanied in fertlity
HB-Perfect
3 rounds of clomid
HSG 7/2009 clean
1st IUI no inject. 7/2008
BFN 8/2008
New Endo 6/2009

2nd IUI 7/31/2009
75 Gonal F- trigger shot ovidrel
3 mature follicles and 11 million
swimmers post wash
come on babies, come on
8/13

3rd IUI 8/26-8/29?
Gonal F
Ovidrel
8/18 ultrasound, start clomind
8/26 u/s and bloodwork
8/28 IUI

[flashgal24]

I've been trying since... May 05, I think.... I dunno it's been so long. We have a couple of "borderline" issues.... but RE still diagnoses us as "unexplained infertility".... it sucks, and I'm tired... but as always, still waiting on the BFP.

[HouseNRaleigh]

Hi Jess...
We've been trying since May '07, so not quite 3 years, but after so long I don't think it feels much different....it all seems like forever!

I completely understand how you feel about not knowing how you should feel. It so frustrating to not know whether to be hopeful or to just "let go and let God" - aka give up.

I have also gone to counseling, but I found that it made me think about it even more. I am to the point where I try to just take it one day at the time and try to keep myself "busy" so my mind doesn't have time to wander.

At this point, it is day 27 for me. I spotted and cramped on day 24 and again today. So far has not officially showed herself, but I'm sure she's on the way. My friends are more hopeful than I am I think because they are sure it's implantation, but how do you stay hopeful without getting your hopes up too much, ya know? I guess I could just take a test and get it over with...I'm just tired of wasting those each month.

I think the hardest thing for me is that we have "little" issues, but not any major things to explain why I can't even get pregnant. In reference to your feeling of at least being able to get pregnant, I have often wondered if I would feel better to have a miscarriage so that I would at least know it was possible for me to conceive. I know for some people who have had a miscarriage that probably sounds crazy! I dunno....

Also, out of my close circle of friends, there is ONE left other than myself who is either not pregnant or already had kids. The most recent one being my own BFF since we were 13! It's hard because you are so happy for them, but you feel like you're caving in inside. And you can't really talk about it because people who haven't gone through this just don't understand...even if they try.

Very difficult..... I just try not to dwell on it. It's tough and I'm not saying I don't have bad days, but at least the good days are starting to out number the bad ones I guess.

Hope this helps someone...

[tinytanner]

Just thought I would chime in. We just hit our two year mark also and are DX with "unexplained infertility". I just don't understand what "unexplained infertlitiy" is suppose to mean?!? They keep saying we are unexplained however; they did find a little endo and some polups during my Lap/HSG done in April and now they just found a 1.8cm fibroid in my unterine wall. My husband has some slight motility and morphology issues but the doc said from day one that he can't point a finger at my DH since the numbers are not that bad. How is that unexplained? It should be called "a bunch of small problems that we don't think makes a big problem infertility"!!
I do understand how ya'll feel and it seems to me that time is only making it harder and harder. The more little things they find the more I feel like I am taking steps backwards. I have huge trust issues also so I don't know that I completely trust my RE. It just like we are all wondering around clueless about what might work and what won't.
I am just so tired. I hope we all will find relief/relaxation soon in the sound of our little ones heartbeat! STICKY VIBES TO US ALL!

[sticktome]

Has anyone had a full blood panel done by a repoductive immunologist?? I wish I knew about it at first and made sure I had it done. I finally got my dr to agree to get one done..

I suspect my body is rejecting my embryos and need to know why ...

Btw .. after 3-4 iui's ... please consider IVF and stop wasting time .... or move on to a new dr ... it's so sad that the dr's just say it is unexplained when there are so many tests they should be doing ...

[InspiredbyHannah]

Hi all! My DH and I have been TTC for 4 years and I can completely understand all of this frustration! I have been diagnosed as "unexplained" as well and I think tinytanner is right...Why not be real and call it "a bunch of small problems that we don't think makes a big problem infertility"!! It sounds awful but I would almost rather get a definitive diagnoses that we could at least treat!
We're going to do our first IUI with/ Letrozole in a few weeks. We're very excited...but trying to keep our thoughts grounded. There's no medical reason why it "shouldn't" work, right?
What keeps me going is my faith in God. Theres a women in the Bible named Hannah. She suffered for years in her infertility just as we are. Its says she wept so hard the priest thought she must be drunk...ever been there? I know I have! One day, she went to the temple to pray(like she did everyday I'm sure) and and it says God heard her prayer and she gave birth to a Son and Named Him Samuel meaning "because I have asked for him from the Lord." If you have never read it...I would encourage you to..its 1 Samuel 1:1-28.
Reading posts from everyone here also really helps!

for everyone!! for 's!!!

[JessStillWaits]

everyone! Thanks so much for posting about this struggle. Having been through m/c and a long wait to even get pregnant, I can honestly say I don't know which is worse. They are both losses in their own way. Waiting this long is exceedingly painful. And the 2 ww is always brutal.

I'd like to say Congrats to TinyTanner! Was this an unmedicated cycle? Please update us! Hope is good for all of us.

Hugs and to everyone.

I am at a stage right now where we are moving on to IVF. I am looking back and wondering why we didn't try it sooner, but mainly it's financial. Not sure how others feel? I hope it all works out in the end for all of us.

I have really felt like in the past few months, emotionally I can't take it anymore. But I don't want to give up. It's so hard. But I am starting to reach a stage where I am hopeful again.

[JessStillWaits]

MRs JB- I have done a bunch of testing for clotting and other things after my second m/c. I haven't done immunology or genetics screening, those are the only things left.

My doctor says it was a "fluke" but I don't know. I am not a big fan when docs say that, though m/cs do happen to everyone.

5 years is a LONG time. It's unbelievable really. I didn't used to count the time until got to be pretty long! I hope you have success soon!

Originally Posted by MrsJB

We hit 5 years in January. It doesn't get any easier. But I am not ready to give up hope of becoming a mom so we keep going forward.

Have they done testing on you due to the miscarriages? Some people have clotting and antibody issues.

[There'sHope28]

I finally made it to the other side, but it took me and my husband 10 years to find success, five under the care of an excellent gynecologist in South Carolina and five with an amazing RE in Tennessee. We were unexplained and ended up going the IVF route, losing our first pregnancy to miscarriage (cause unknown) and trying two more times with frozen embryos. That third-time charm stuck and was born 10 days overdue! We conceived naturally seven months later, and I carried that surprise full-term as well. We tease our doctor that we got two for the price of one!

I don't share our decade-long struggle to in any way minimize the number of years you've been trying, JesseStillWaits, but rather to encourage you not to lose hope! The ups and downs you are feeling are very normal and hard to avoid, but I can promise you that I'm so very, very glad we never gave up. We had terrible disappointments and sometimes took a break from treatment and trying but eventually forged ahead, as time and resources allowed.

In addition to holding on to your faith, please let me share two other "survival" recommendations with you. #1 Be good to yourself in healthy ways -- massage, a new dress, weekend getaway with your husband, pedicures, movies, whatever makes you feel "worth it" and pampered. #2 Find other infertile women to talk with in addition to your professional counselor. No one can relate or encourage you like a gal who is walking (or has walked) in those dreadful shoes. Does your town have an infertility support group? RESOLVE can often make a recommendation. I've written a lot of articles about infertility, in case those might help. Go to MyFertilityCenter.com and click the support central tab.

Wishing you much luck and strength! I'll be praying for you ...

Tina
survived 10 years of infertility
miracle son through IVF in 2001
surprise daughter through natural conception in 2002
committed to sharing resources with women waiting to become moms

[JessStillWaits]

Tina- Thanks so much. There are not any local Resolve meetings, but I did find my therapist through Resolve who has a history of IF. I do have some friends going through it but sometimes it's hard because they've succeeded. It does help to talk to other people, I agree, particularly people who "get it." I will look again however.

Your story is inspiring. Thanks for reaching out to me. We are about to start IVF now and I feel a lot of hope! If I ever get to the other side of this I would like to help others as you are doing. Thank you!

Originally Posted by There'sHope28

I finally made it to the other side, but it took me and my husband 10 years to find success, five under the care of an excellent gynecologist in South Carolina and five with an amazing RE in Tennessee. We were unexplained and ended up going the IVF route, losing our first pregnancy to miscarriage (cause unknown) and trying two more times with frozen embryos. That third-time charm stuck and was born 10 days overdue! We conceived naturally seven months later, and I carried that surprise full-term as well. We tease our doctor that we got two for the price of one!

I don't share our decade-long struggle to in any way minimize the number of years you've been trying, JesseStillWaits, but rather to encourage you not to lose hope! The ups and downs you are feeling are very normal and hard to avoid, but I can promise you that I'm so very, very glad we never gave up. We had terrible disappointments and sometimes took a break from treatment and trying but eventually forged ahead, as time and resources allowed.

In addition to holding on to your faith, please let me share two other "survival" recommendations with you. #1 Be good to yourself in healthy ways -- massage, a new dress, weekend getaway with your husband, pedicures, movies, whatever makes you feel "worth it" and pampered. #2 Find other infertile women to talk with in addition to your professional counselor. No one can relate or encourage you like a gal who is walking (or has walked) in those dreadful shoes. Does your town have an infertility support group? RESOLVE can often make a recommendation. I've written a lot of articles about infertility, in case those might help. Go to MyFertilityCenter.com and click the support central tab.

Wishing you much luck and strength! I'll be praying for you ...

Tina
survived 10 years of infertility
miracle son through IVF in 2001
surprise daughter through natural conception in 2002
committed to sharing resources with women waiting to become moms

[wallace1]

I tried for slightly more than 3 years with unexplained infertility. I do believe that even though it's unexplained doesn't mean something isn't wrong. In my case I was generally run down, depressed and had a slight immune system problem. I eventually started practicing Chinese medicine, meditating, eating differently, etc. All of these things together are what worked. I remember the depression and knowing that all the counseling in the world couldn't fix it.

[Ronidog]

I just wanted to pop in and say don't give up hope. I know that is easy to say but it is true. My husband and I were TTC for 4 years. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. There were months that I would just breakdown when AF showed up. I started to think it was never going to happen. But...then our miracle happened and I am not the proud mother to a 2 1/2 month old baby girl!

My best advice is to explore every option. I had no signs / symptoms of having endo except unexplained infertility. My RE performed a lap and found 2 tiny spots of endo which was removed. I got my BPF on my next IUI! My RE is convinced that the endo was the problem. I highly recommend getting the endo. It can rule out so many things.

So, hang in there...dreams do come true!!!