[annie]

You do nothing. I was in a similar situation a while back & doing nothing was the best thing I could have done. Trust me, she will be just waiting for a response. Don't give her the satisfaction!

[tricia08]

So let me just double check....I can't punch her in her face? Just checking, but you all know I really want to! I could totally take her...haha (no really I could, even pregnant) LOL!

After letting it soak in for a while, I thought, my god, she really is miserable. You are all right! She thought that would be the one thing she always had over me....DH's only baby's momma. But move over b*tch, I'm DH's baby's momma now and we're starting some baby momma drama. Seriously, I'm only kidding. If you could see me right now, I'm laughing about this whole thing.

The worst part, is she refers to her own son, her own flesh and blood as "your first one". Who does that? She is pathetic and laughable.

The kids ARE excited, and we both know they will continue to be! DSD already wants a baby sister and DSS wants a baby brother. This is still going to be a battle with her, but I won't stoop to her level. I haven't in the past, and I definitely won't now.

I am the better person here! She is like one of the many "poopy diapers" I will be changing!!!

Atleast I have something to laugh about at work today!

Thanks ladies (again!)
,
Tricia

[Lawyerlady]

I have never seen a more transparently jealous email in my life. I know it's infuriating, but you and DH should take some satisfaction out of her reaction. She is green with envy at your happy life!

Since she is clearly trying to get a reaction, I think what would pi$$ her off most is if DH either didn't reply or just replied and said, we're very happy, thank you. And left it at that. Don't even bother to engage this b*tch - that is exactly what she wants!

ETA: I just read the other responses and see that the other ladies are in accord! It's unanimous - ignore her!

[bq122]

I have been in a similiar situation. They live off this.
I know it maybe hard for some. I have a disposition that I will never lower myself to someone elses stupidity.
I truly believe in Karma. Saying nothing is the best thing. From this day forward ignoring her would bother her the most. Plus you never have to listen to a respond,she doesnt seem like she would be the person just let it go. Because then what happens you go tit for tat and the most important people are the children involved.
If she ever asks your sd/ ss or dh let them just respond we got the message thank you so much for the well wishes.
If you think about she is the sick one, who needs help. So your life is with your dh and the kids. She is a just a small little inconvenience in your life but dont let it overwhelm you.
You and dh are having a baby dont let her take away from that at all..
I would say a prayer for asking God to make her sane.
Thats my two cents...

God bless..I wish you the best with the situation.

Ps...my dh ex hated that I ignored whatever she said. Eventually she stopped. Believe me it took a long time but she caught on.

[mjones]

I would definitely ignore the e-mails and then I would pray for her. She obviously is hurting and the only way for her to make herself feel better is to try to make you and your DH feel bad.

[mss2069]

Originally Posted by tricia08

Let me just share with you a little piece of what I have to deal with on a daily basis....

My husband was previously married. He has 2 children, my DSS (14) and my DSD (10), both of whom we have had custody of for 4 months now. I'll just say that the mother is not quite all together, and truly can't bring herself to put the kids first when she had custody of them. The ex and I DO NOT get along!! I have tried in the past, but she is kniving (sp?) and has done nothing but cause problems. But, I love having kids here. It is not without its trials or tribulations, but what in life is that isn't worth it, right? They are great kids!!

So anyway, we find out the beta was positive yesterday, and DH and I wanted to wait to tell the kids, but a friend of ours spilled the beans by accident when she called my husbands phone to say congratulations and my DSS answered the phone. Needless to say, they sound alot alike since DSS hit puberty (haha...TMI).

Ofcourse, I knew that DSD would be calling her mother that night to say goodnight, and would be telling her.

Sooooo, I wake up this morning, and look on the computer and find this email to DH from the b*tch.....

"Is that what you really called me for yesterday was to give me the nausiating news? Just think of all of those sleepless nights, poopy diapers and bottles not to mention another 18 years and you will have another one to put through college....lucky you, so much for early retirement. So when did you have the reversal? When is the bundle of joy due to arrive? At least you will have built in babysitters, lol. I almost feel sorry for you because you probably want this one just as much as you wanted your first one.....3 kids guess you will need to buy a bigger house sooner rather then later..yikes......I get light headed just thinking about it all. I wish you all the best and I want to thank you for making me realize just how happy I am to be me!"

Do you believe this sh*t! I am so mad, steam is coming out of my ears. What right does she have? She is soooo pathetic. I want to write her an email so bad and say something to the fact that it's none of her darn business what we do. The fact that she actually took the time to write this email shows how truly pathetic she really is!! I am beyond words right now.

How should I handle this? How should DH handle this? I wanna go to her house and punch her I am so fed up with her. This process is stressful enough without her putting in her two cents and making it more stressful.

UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!

What am I going to do?

,
Tricia

Tricia,

You know wht i just realized...that poem you posted yesterday said it all. You will be a better mother than her. Clearly when you change a poopy diaper or have to watch up for a feeding it won't be a chore for you. As she made it sound in the email.

[imagiccat]

This is very simple, yet incredibly important: DISENGAGE.

Delete that email and try to forget about it. Don't analyze it in your mind, and don't even waste the time convincing yourself she's jealous. That sort of thing might make you feel better for awhile... But in truth, the mere act of figuring out what she is feeling is just keeping you tied up in the situation; that's right, you're wasting thoughts and emotions on her.

(Side note: Besides which, if you stay emotionally engaged in this thing, you'll keep revisiting whether she's truly jealous or not... or "maybe there's some truth in what she says?"... or whatever other dark thoughts an imagination might conjure up when you're attacked)

Delete and forget. She's not your war to fight -- if there's a war still to fight, (and I doubt there is), then Hubby needs to be in the front of the line to do battle.

You... for your own sake and for you baby-to-be's sake and for the harmony of your home... just need to step back and remind yourself that it's only a struggle if YOU choose to get into it with her.

Since I think you probably just want joy and happiness right now during this WONDERFUL time... Disengage.

( I speak from experience, since I had an ex who couldn't wait to shove his nose into everything in my life and express snotty opinions --- my sanity was saved when I learned to just turn away from it/him and not give it a second thought. Idiots will be idiots, and neither you nor I can control them and stop them from being idiots)

((((hugs)))) Don't you just hate exes?

[fifi03]

i am so sorry you have to deal with that!!! try to hang in there. congrats on the bfp!

[casb77]

OK, I'm clearly in the minority, but I would not be able to resist sending back a note, partly to make sure she knew you saw her email, but you would need to make it look like it didn't bother you at all. I'd say something like, "Thank you for the congratulations! We are very excited about the baby." Then hit send.

Yes, a bigger person would just ignore the email, but I have a narcissistic mother whom we have cut off relations with, and she just doesn't get it when we don't respond her - we actually have to tell her to stop talking to us. So that's where I'm coming from.

With her being solidly in your life you won't be able to completely ignore her, so killing her with kindness is a good recommendation. You can't control her actions, but you can control how you react to her.

[sharonla]

I agree, Vent to us any time. I would relate her to my mil who I have gone off on many many times. Lately, I ignore and avoid her and I think that kills her more. She now feels like she doesnt matter in my life, she got the point.