[Kristinpa]

Hi all, I feel guilty because I got upset and started crying when I found out that my husband's sister is pregnant with her second child. She has a two year old son. I have had 2 miscarriages and am about to go through IVF. I am happy for her but I am so jealous that it is not me. Are these normal feelings?

[natenang654]

Oh sweetie, YES, those are normal feelings! It is SO HARD to deal with the "big news" when it's not us.......sending you a big !!! Hang in there, take the time you need, and give yourself some space from the excitement....you've got to protect yourself and I hope your family understands. good luck to you!

[lizzie518]

Oh sweetie. Your feelings are so normal. It is just so hard to understand why God allows it to be so easy for some women to have babies and so difficult for others of us. I'm sure you are happy for your sil, but still grieving and feeling it is unfair.

On my way to my hysteroscopy and trial transfer yesterday, I stopped be the hospital to see a friend who just had a baby. The baby was there in the hospital room with her, and I cried. I cried in part because it was such a beautiful thing to see this new life, and in part because I was grieving my lack of a baby.

I'm so grateful to have all of these ladies on the forum, because we can all understand these feelings. Please don't feel guilty. I think we have all been there.

[AHealthyMiracle]

Oh hunny, it's completely normal. It is so tough. I am the same way... so if we aren't normal, we can be abnormal together. *HUGS*... I hope your time comes very soon. Stick around the forum... It truly makes you feel better! *MORE HUGS*

[CNYCPL]

You are definatly not alone. My cousin's girlfriend found out she was pregnant a month before i did. Once we lost ours i kept thinking it was so unfair and i didnt want to see them. Now they want me to be godmother, talk about a slap in the face. I know we will all have our day but it's hard when it's always someonelse.

[southhampton]

I know exactly how you feel. Please don't feel guilty we have all been there. I hope you get your soon.

Samantha

[Persephone1881]

Feeling that way is completely normal. A week or so after my D&C I found out on the same day that a girl I sorta know from another forum who had been married for like a minute was pregnant (and got that way after getting married) and that my cousin and his wife had just had a baby. I didn't even know she had been pregnant.

Allow yourself to feel any way you want to on a given day. Just be careful not to let those negative emotions take over your life. You'll get your baby and when you do, it'll make everything you've gone through completely worth it.

Best of luck to you in your upcoming IVF cycle.

[Krista]

You're completely normal. My BFF got PG after 2 mos trying. I was so jealous! I put on a happy face in front of her, but sobbed to DH when we got home. He gried too and it was the first time he cried over our struggle. FYI, I did get mostly over it. She knows our struggles and is the only friend I tell any of the details to. She lost the baby last week and I've been able to support her through that as well.

[dizzyb]

Yes it is normal, during stims for my 3rd IVF I went to a BF's b-day party and had to leave crying because someone there anounced she was pregnant.

[casb77]

Those feelings are COMPLETELY normal. Just feel what you feel and cry if you need to. We're all here for you to vent to and we all get it. I hope your first IVF works for you!

[Kristinpa]

Thank you all so much for caring and taking the time to post. It has been especially hard lately because my due date is fast approaching (Oct 3) for the last pregnancy I lost. It means alot to me that you all know what I am going through and empathize with me. Thanks again for your kind words!

[Deb72]

Originally Posted by Kristinpa

Hi all, I feel guilty because I got upset and started crying when I found out that my husband's sister is pregnant with her second child. She has a two year old son. I have had 2 miscarriages and am about to go through IVF. I am happy for her but I am so jealous that it is not me. Are these normal feelings?

Those are ABSOLUTELY normal feelings. I have felt this way a hundred times. Been TTC for 2 years, have had 1 full year of treatment (including 3 IVFs) and every time I hear a new friend or relative is pregnant, I cry. In fact there are a few friends with newborns that I haven't even seen yet because it's too hard.

Please don't feel guilty. This is a VERY hard time. You need to do EVERYTHING for yourself right now. Don't worry about anyone else's feelings (except maybe your DH ).

Best of luck to you.

[chuchu]

IF has a hard emotional burden on us. Try to change that experience into something positive: visualize that YOU WILL BE PREGNANT TOO!!

[ajf]

the feelings your having are completely normal. i have had similiar situations it seems everyone around me gets pregnant without trying and everything is perfect...for them...why does it have to be so hard for some of us? it is not that you are not happy for your sisiter in law its just in your heart the thought remains when is it my turn??!! focus on your self and your upcoming cycle...maybe you will be able to be pregnant at the same time!!