[IndieBlue]

Well, ladies I finally POAS because I wanted to be prepared for the BETA call today...and both sticks were negative. So I have another chemical. I have secondary infertility, so I am blessed to have children....sometimes I feel like I was being greedy for wanting another and that's why it's not working out. But no matter the reason....seems we are done trying. I keep thinking that I could go have my tubes untied...but seriously at some point I have to say enough is enough, this is just too much of an emotional roller coaster and every failed cycle has brought me closer and closer to depression, which I don't want.

Anyhow....it's kind of hard this morning as my husband just got up as normal, went to work and he's planning on going fishing tonight....nice huh? I mean each person has a way of dealing with it, but leaving me to cry it out alone just seems a bit mean. Not to mention I homeschool and today I have to test my oldest....oh well atleast this will keep my mind moving away from the bad news.

Well, I pray that all of you ladies have a happy healthy pregnancy and don't ever experience another IVF loss Everyone should be blessed with a baby if that is their desire, and I'm thankful for what God has blessed me with....so I pray he lets all of you have uneventful pregnancies , beautiful babies and wonderful full lives.

[wannabeamomma]

Indie -
I am so very sorry - having also experienced a chemical pregnancy - I completely understand the pain of coming so close and just not quite getting there.

I admire your courage and definitely feel that you are blessed, in the fact that you do have other children. Does that mean you were greedy - absolutely NOT. I truly do not think it works that way.
You had more love to share and thats a beautiful thing. Just relish the time you have with your kids and know that I will be thinking of you during this difficult time.

[heather7373]

Indie, I gasped when I read your post. I'm so sad for you right now. What awful news! I just don't even know what to say except I am sooooo sorry!

[ecox03]

Hi Ladies,

I wanted to say thank you for all of the kind thoughts and prayers. I'm slowly returning back to normal (as normal as I can be). My heart still hurts and I'm crushed that I can't seem to have mine and my DH's baby. But since my eggs are such poor quality it seems that the only options are egg donation or adoption. Since egg donation is sooooo expensive and I have no idea if I can even carry a baby since I've never gotten far enough to find out, I'm not sure if that's the route we'll take. (Plus the thought of taking Luporn and PIO all over again just depresses the crap out of me) DH and I are going to be doing some research and soul searching to figure out next steps so that we can build our family.

For those who are using an egg donor, could you PM me directly? I'd love your 2 cents worth about the process.

For everyone on this forum...thank you for all of your kindness and I pray that everyone ends up with a BFP and 9 wonderful months and a beautiful baby in the end. Good luck everyone!

Can'tGiveUp - Thanks for updating the list for me. I've kept the changes that I have observed before and after I disappeared. They are listed below. I think I'll probably step aside for a bit but I really hope that you keep up the log...it's a good reference as you move forward. Updates from my last post (since I didn't pull out Can't's updates) are in blue.

I'll be out there watching and praying for positive reports from everyone! Take care!

Lupron

Mwalls – 6/15

Stims (start date) Grow Follies Grow
lilac-6/12
Duke21-6/15
Mandy911-7/1
April(xaaf76x)-7/4

ER
Honeybear0027 – 6/20
Rosewater-6/24
Cathy(caty561)-7/5 (14 eggs, 11 fertilized)
Mandy911-7/10 estimated

ET/FET
Cathy (Caty561)-7/8 or 7/10 estimated
Mandy911-7/13 or 7/15 estimated

Waiting for BETA (PUPO)
vvt8812-6/18 (2 embies)
Bridget (bridge2baby) (2 embies)
SweetPrincessLauren (1 embaby)
rachelannsauer-6/18 (2 embies)
Debrablount – 6/22 Beta #1 (3 embies)
Lanalee-6/26 (3 embies)
Mani – 7dp3dt
Srl
Wanabeemom- Beta #1=____( (3dt of 4 embies)
Leora (can’tgiveup)- 7/10 Beta #1=____( (4 embies)
Amf728 – 7/9 Beta #1=____( (2 embies)
Margie (Mak27) – 7/12 Beta #1=____( (3 embies)
Wannabeamomma- 7/16 Beta #1=____(2 embies)
Praying –
PleaseBPositive – 7/15 Beta #1=___

POAS-Positive!
Janeen-6/9 (3dp5dt of 2 embies) (beta on 6/15)

Pregnant
Tracy (tshoshino)-6/9 Beta #1=123.5
Jessica (jdg7141)-6/9 beta #1=284
Mary Lee (mlm)-6/12 Beta #1=2700 – 5 weeks – Naturally conceived before starting stims…Amazing! Beta #3 = 17000, Beta #4=51,000, Beta #5=81,000. Beta #6= 131,000 – IDENTICAL TWINS!!
Ablessing-6/15 Beta #1=357, 6/17 Beta #2= 1814, Beta #3 = 10,723
Raji-6/13 Beta #1=38 6/15 Beta #2 109
Brooklyn – 6/17 Beta #1=200 Beta #2=487 (6dp5dt 2 embies) TWINS!!
Courtney (creid5804)-6/16 Beta #1, 6/18 Beta #2 (2 embies) BFP!!!
Molly (farler05)-6/19 Beta #1 = 113, Beta #2 = 183 (2 embies)
Skogies- 6/16 Beta #1 = 58, 6/18 Beta #2 = 140
Nicole (ColeyOley)-6/23 Beta #1=461, Beta #2=1511 (3dt of 2 embies) Possibly twins?? U/S #2 on 7/13 to confirm
Faith (IndieBlue)- 6/23 Beta #1=54, Beta #2=254 (3dt of 4 embies)
Christy (cmlo575)-6/25 Beta #1=440, Beta #2=1116 (3 embies)
Heather (heather7373)- 6/25 Beta #1 = 273, Beta #2=2079, Beta #3= 5687 (2 embies) GC is PG!
linderz- Beta #1=230 (2 embies)
Hazeld0409-6/28 FET- Beta #1=104, Beta #2=537, Beta #3=7693
Amf728 –Beta #1=220, Beta # 2=429, Beta # 3=3020 (2 embies)
Jessica (Trying41)-7/3 Beta #1= 500 (3dt of 2 embies)
Gbutterfly-6/30 Beta #1=____
kellay- 7/6 Beta #1=60 (3dt of 2 embies)
Baby4Gerbee-7/7 Beta #1=255 (3 dt of 2 embies)
Anj (Anj70)- 7/7 Beta #1=281 (3 embies), Beta #2=548
Megz-7/8 Beta #1=510 (3dt of 1 embaby)

Needs a Big Hug!
Amy (thebunn)
Addie (prayerful)
Marion (snownsun)
Goldenhicks
Mary1972
Cagirl2003
Krista (kris1unger)
jp1981
Rachelannsauer
Ashxl
Adkwmn39
Bmwolf70
Kelly (KelB)
Erin (ecox03)

Delayed Away from June
Candice(hoping4another)-cycle postponed
Ola(purpledta)-cycle postponed
Nicole(mysillyoldbear)-cycle postponed
Kelly(starfsh25)-changed to IUI
Alyson_Sunshine-cycle postponed to July
JustOneMore-Postponed to July
Hj'smommy-postponed to July
Janeen-delayed due to polyp
April(xaaf76x)-postponed until July
Tanya (TabbyM)- Postponed until August due to poor response
Ginalfish-Postponed until August

Acupuncture
Amy (thebunn)
Erin (ecox03)
Bridget (bridge2baby)
TAP
Marion (snownsun)
Mary Lee (mlm)
Leora (can’tgiveup)
Cagirl2003

[ecox03]

MLM - I saw the other girls notes so I went back to see your signature. I am so incredibly sorry. You really had a miracle story and I was so shocked and happy for you with each announcement that you had for us. I truly hope that this is a mistake and your babies are ok. Are you ok? I can't imagine how hard this is for you. I hope that you and your husband are able to lean on each other and find peace. Please take care of yourself!!!

KelB - I'm also sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you were able to work with the clinic to get the extra Beta done. You can now be confident that you did all you could to have that baby. Good luck with your next cycle!

Lastly Indie - I really hope that your Beta is still ok and that the HPT were wrong. (I didn't change your status because I wanna hear what the test actually says first.) You are very strong to go through all of this and I hope that your family can comfort you....maybe DH will bring home a nice fish dinner just for you? (DH aren't always the sharpest, are they?) Hugs those kids of yours!

Hugs for all of the girls who have faced challenges over the last couple of months. It's a really hard process to go through and it just shows how determined we are to share our love with a child. Let's just pray that we all can find that opportunity to share our love!

[KelB]

Indie - I am so sorry! I am so glad that you are able to continue to count your blessings! I feel the say way about dh though; since we found out things were not looking good he has been able to go off to work while I sit at home with my only focus being that we are losing another one I, too, don't know how much I can take emotionally. When is enough, enough??

Erin - Hugs to you too! We are in the same boat. This was our 3rd failed IVF and we are not sure where to go from here. We said if it didn't work we would take a break and focus on adoption for a while, maybe doubling up so to speak. But first I have to mourn the loss of the baby we may never have. I so long to look at my sweet baby and see my dh's or my eyes, nose and toes. I guess God has another plan and maybe my sweet child has already been conceived and will just join our family through adoption. I pray you are able to make the decision that is best for you and your dh.

mlm - my heart breaks for you! I your dream will come true someday soon.

Brooklyn - Congrats on the twins! I pray you have a healthy pregnacy and deliver two beautiful, healthy babies!!

Good luck to all those with upcoming 1st and 2nd betas. I wish you the best of luck!!

[Hazeld0409]

Cantgiveup-waiting to hear your beta!

Ecox-nice to hear you are healing although it's a slow process so take your time. Good luck in whatever you decide!

Indie-Oh my what news this morning, please update when your beta comes in today I'm very anxious because you and I are so close to one another in the process.

AFM I had 1st sono this morning. Saw sack and yolk sack. I was hoping for more but dr said we are right on track. We'll have another u/s next week to check for fetal pole and maybe heartbeat.

Have a great weekend!

[IndieBlue]

Beta was negative ladies.....blessings to you all though, you all were a great group to go through this with and I don't know how on earth I'll ever get over feeling that desire for another child but sadly with no real reason for our secondary infertility, we are calling it quits. Praying for you all

[Baby4Gerbee]

Originally Posted by IndieBlue

Beta was negative ladies.....blessings to you all though, you all were a great group to go through this with and I don't know how on earth I'll ever get over feeling that desire for another child but sadly with no real reason for our secondary infertility, we are calling it quits. Praying for you all

Sorry Indie My prayers are with you and your family.

[wannabeamomma]

Originally Posted by IndieBlue

Beta was negative ladies.....blessings to you all though, you all were a great group to go through this with and I don't know how on earth I'll ever get over feeling that desire for another child but sadly with no real reason for our secondary infertility, we are calling it quits. Praying for you all

The best of everything to you Indie !!

[farler05]

I'm so sorry Indie.

[can'tgiveup]

Indie - I'm so sorry. I hope you can take comfort in your family - but don't ever feel greedy for wanting a child. And give your DH a kick in the pants and let him know what you need! They're so clueless at times, but I'll bet if he knew what was in your head and in your heart, he might change his plans and be with you when you need him. Stay strong!

Hazel - congrats on seeing the sac. I'm that everything is perfect at your next beta and u/s next week.

Erin - I have not used an egg donor, but if this round fails that may be our next option too. Please stay in touch and let us know what you decide (if you feel like you want to share). Good luck in making this very difficult decision.

AFM, I don't know what to do with myself. My beta came in at a paltry 5. Strangely, they decided that they want me to come in on Sunday to do a second beta and see if it's increasing. I'm cautiously optimistic that maybe it was a really late implantation (maybe one of the two morulas) and that's why the beta was so low. But I suppose I'm just fooling myself: it was probably a chemical. My DH was pleased that we made it further this time than the last two rounds, since we had a BFN both times before, but I'm not sure this is any better. Anyway, two more days of waiting...

Leora

[can'tgiveup]

Indie - I'm so sorry. I hope you can take comfort in your family - but don't ever feel greedy for wanting a child. And give your DH a kick in the pants and let him know what you need! They're so clueless at times, but I'll bet if he knew what was in your head and in your heart, he might change his plans and be with you when you need him. Stay strong!

Hazel - congrats on seeing the sac. I'm that everything is perfect at your next beta and u/s next week. Keep thinking positive!

Erin - I have not used an egg donor, but if this round fails that may be our next option too. Please stay in touch and let us know what you decide (if you feel like you want to share). Good luck in making this very difficult decision.

AFM, I don't know what to do with myself. My beta came in at a paltry 5. Strangely, the RE decided that I should come in on Sunday to do a second beta and see if it's increasing. I'm cautiously optimistic that maybe it was a really late implantation (maybe one of the two morulas) and that's why the beta was so low. But I suppose I'm just fooling myself: it was probably a chemical. My DH was pleased that we made it further this time than the last two rounds, since we had a BFN both times before, but I'm not sure this is any better. Anyway, two more days of waiting...

Leora

[Megz]

im so sorry indie

[Lucy1952]

Ladies I'm new but I have read through a lot of what has been going on and my heart breaks for those of you that are having much difficulties. I am awaiting my first blood test on Monday and this weekend couldn't go any slower. This is my first cycle and I wish I had found the forums earlier. What is everyones opinion about doing the at home testing before your first blood test???