[smiley]

Originally Posted by justwantababy

so i totally broke down and cried in the book store today. SO embarrasing. my mom wanted to pick out a couple books for a friend of mine who is due with 2 twin girls any day as a gift. and i've been doing well emotionally lately so i went with her to take a look. i was doing fine looking at the touchy feely type books or ones with just pictures. but then i read this cute little book with a father bear and baby bear and talking about all the fun things they do together. i got this overwhelming fear that may never be my husband with a child of our own and i couldn't deal with it. i tried to hold it in, and did recover quickly...sort of....but definitely had to leave the kids section of the store. what was i thinking?!

so i was thinking i'd ask the question....have any of you had a break down moment in public before because of what we're going through? please tell me i'm not the only one!

You are NOT alone! I haven't had it happen in a bookstore (YET) but other places...there was one time DH and I were shopping for a baby shower gift and I couldn't decide and just kept wandering through the baby department and asking his opinion...I finally broke down b/c I didn't think we would ever be there for ourselves (and that time was not drug induced). When I am on meds as I was constantly with IUIs the moments were more often- even while we were taking our nightly walk- sometimes I didn't even need anything to set me off. I just wanted to assure you- it happens to others...many of us I am sure. This is a very difficult thing we are doing and have been dealing with and I think its perfectly normal to a degree. when it happens just leave the situation if you can and try to pull it togheter.

[zozo20]

hi girls, happy 4th of July!!!!

finally my is here after 37 days! so im officially be in August ivf!!!
my ivf nurse said that she'll email me my calender soon, we're really looking forward and excited to get started...hopefully everything works well and we all get our .
BTW, anybody knows or familiar w/ L6 protocol coz the nurse told me that that's what im going to be on.

anyways, just want to share the good news..

[2LinesIn09]

justwantababy-- I have broken out in tears in many public places. You are definitely in good company. Hopefully soon we will have our BFPs and the tears will be from happiness.

to all the new ladies who joined in the last week!

Just got back from Kauai. I feel rejuvenated and ready to start this next IVF cycle. I go for my calendar review on Monday. I got a positive OPK a day earlier than usual while in Hawaii yesterday, so hopefully that means AF will arrive right on time and I will start stims on July 19th as planned. I cannot wait to get the ball rolling! I have a lot of reading to do to catch up on you ladies! It's amazing how much I missed in a week!

[PG_Florida]

Our list is looking very active! Please let me know if you have new info - or if I made a mistake on your current details.

Sorry I've been slacking on my list duty. We returned on Thursday night from New Mexico (for DH's trip) and decided on Friday to drive up to NY to spend a few weeks with my family at their lake cottage. We drove from FL to Savannah on Friday evening (5 hours driving) and then drove the entire way to upstate NY (14.5 driving hours, which took 16.5 hours including our stops). We took the dog, which is why we drove. Now we'll stay here for a while and drive back. DH has a lull in his schedule and I can do most of my work from here (and it's a really slow time of year right now). We arrived really late last night and I'm just starting to feel like I'm not still moving. Bleh, it was too long in the car.

In the meantime, my brother called me on Friday and thought he was so funny asking if both of our phones were turned off because I was ovulating?! No, it's b/c we were flying home from NM. And now that we're up at the lake cottage, he brought it up again. I told him I didn't think it was that funny of a joke, and he went on and on about how I'm so sensitive and take things personally and it was funny. I told him I'm not sensitive, it just wasn't a funny joke. And even if I were sensitive, I have every right to be b/c it's a sensitive issue and not one I like to make fun of. Good thing he and DH went fishing, I was ready to start throwing punches! Other than that... I expect a nice relaxing 2.5 weeks - until we start driving south again.

Anyhoo... here's our list! I'll be in much better touch now that we're in the same place for more than a minute!

BCPs (start date):
chrissie5202006 6/19
PG_Florida 6/21
justwantababy 6/23
1dayatatime 6/24
Christeena 6/24
WinniePoo 6/26
MPisready 6/27
lucy4 6/29
athena3 7/2
zozo20 7/19

amax (no BCPs)
Newbie (no BCPs)
doolsc (no BCPs)
2LinesIn09 (no BCPs)

Tanter602
TTCAngel34
ms610
TabbyM
thebunn
TracyB
yodasmistress
smiley
getdpg
MaggieMay75
Embracelife
Gypsy
Scteacher
maybeAbabyor2
lag
kaydliz
sspp
stinkycat
3rdtimesthecharm
kate94
GreenMommaToBE
rcriscuolo
umut
Christin2084

Haven't heard from in over a month... come back!
kickernik
shufam
shedaisy0505
jmfong76

Lupron/Suprefact (start date)
Lucy4 6/30
Newbie 7/5
MaggieMay75 7/5
WinniePoo 7/13
Evan 7/17
amax 7/18
Christin2084 7/22
zozo20 7/25
PG_Florida 7/27

Stims (start date)
2LinesIn09 7/19
Sinkycat 7/26
WinniePoo 7/27
amax 7/28
Christin2084 8/2
Christeena 8/4
PG_Florida 8/5
1dayatatime 8/7
zozo20 8/10
TabbyM 8/14

ER (date)
2LinesIn09 8/2
Stinkycat 8/2
3rdtimesthecharm 8/5
WinniePoo 8/6
amax 8/9
Newbie 8/15
Christeena 8/15
justwantababy 8/16
PG_Florida 8/17
1dayatatime 8/18
MPisready 8/19
smiley 8/28
Tanter602 8/28

ET/FET (date)
SweatPea FET 7/05
Popotita FET
2LinesIn09 8/5
3rdtimesthecharm 8/8
WinniePoo 8/9
amax 8/12
newbie 8/20
Christeena 8/20
justwantababy 8/21
PG_Florida 8/22
1dayatatime 8/23
MPisready 8/25

[Newbie]

PG Florida - thanks for keeping us all up to date with the group. I'm sure everyone appreciates it like I do! Hopefully, you enjoy the rest of your trip and your brother will relax and not add any unnecessary stress to your days!

On another note - I took my first lupron shot this evening. I'm so proud of me! I kept telling myself it would be easy - no big deal. And I was fine until the moment I was about to stick myself with the needle and then I got really nervous!!! It took a minute with my DH talking to me and me talking to myself - but I finally just did it. And of course, it wasn't bad at all. Now, we are just praying for no bad side effects. I've heard a few people say they were lucky and blessed enough to have very few side effects. I hope I'm one of those folks!!!

Have a great night!

[WinniePoo]

My protocol got moved up a day. So now I start Lupron on 7/12 and stims on 7/26. ER and ET stayed the same though.

Our 4th was fine except that it rained THE ENTIRE TIME! Ugh! Oh well, back to work. Headache from BCP still going strong, now that the rain has settled allergies are kicking into high gear too...when will it be winter again?

[TTCAngel34]

Well ladies, I got my BFP this weekend. I also had "the talk" with the DH (btw, the "D" in DH has been alternating manically between "dear" and another four letter "d" word this weekend), and he won't let us do IVF. It turns out that he can't get past the potential for having to freeze some of our embryos, and the resulting potential that some may not survive the thaw. As for putting me back onto this monthly roller coaster ride with little chance of sucess for the forseeable future, he's sorry, maybe we should just relax and forget about it for awhile, and I should take up a hobby because the stress isn't good for me. "Beading," he suggested. After that discussion (and getting past the horror and anger - well, honestly, I'm still not entirely past the anger, but it's settled into a hot spot in my stomach), I couldn't - and still can't - remember feeling more alone. My partner in all this is actually capable of "forgetting about it" for awhile, and thought for a second that I would be too. So I cried. A lot. For most of the weekend, really. I thought of coming to you, but I didn't want to infect this beautiful thread with my hopelessness.

I still haven't recovered, and I don't know how long I'll carry around this feeling of despair. But I actually feel now that my body isn't ready to handle all of those drugs, and I need to get my heart, mind, and body into a better place, and that determination brings a modicum of comfort. So I picked up "The Infertility Cure" this weekend and decided to throw myself into traditional Chinese medicine, because that seems infinitely healthier than throwing myself into the middle of traffic. I also decided that I WILL pick up a friggin hobby, and it will be expensive.

As for you, I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed and appreciated having you along for the ride. I am still so excited for you, and even though I'm not going to be able to hang around this thread anymore, I wish you sooooo much luck and I hope this IVF cycle brings you all beautiful, healthy babies!

[WinniePoo]

TTCAngel: so sorry to hear about your BFN . Hobbies are a good thing...be careful though. I decided to pick up a hobby and I now have like 5...all of them expensive!

On a personal note. Sometimes people trying to be sweet just need to think about what they are about to say before letting the words spill out of their mouths. 4th of July weekend we went to a family reunion for DHs family. I love them all, they are a great bunch of people. And most of them are genuinely rooting for us and ask if there is any news and that they are still praying for us whether it be pregnancy or adoption. Those comments mean a lot to me and make me feel better. DHs cousins wife trying to be sweet said 2 of THE STUPIDEST things on Saturday. #1 while holding her 8month old daughter (her 22 month old wandering around her feet) said "I know what you are going through it took us 6 whole months to get pregnant with Ryleigh(her 22 month old), we just kept trying and it wasn't working. We stopped counting days and she just happeneded!" and #2 "Enjoy this time you are having without kids cause once you have them you'll wish you could give them away sometimes. You never have any time to yourselves anymore" SERIOUSLY!!!! I want the chaos, I want the poopy diapers, the puke the sleepless nights. UGH! Some people really just don't think before they speak. I smiled and nodded cause I know it was just her way of trying to make me feel better about the situation, but GEEZ! Ok I'm done ranting now. Just had to vent a little.

[MrsJB]

Hello everyone-
I am brand new to the forums here so I hope it is okay to post on this thread.

My husband and I have been trying for four and a half years. (Lots of drugs, injections, IUI) Our diagnosis is unexplained infertility.

We finally are doing IVF. I have my baseline on the 21st and expect the transfer on August 13 or so.

I am excited but nervous...

[lucy4]

Originally Posted by PG_Florida

BCPs (start date):
chrissie5202006 6/19
PG_Florida 6/21
justwantababy 6/23
1dayatatime 6/24
Christeena 6/24
WinniePoo 6/26
MPisready 6/27
lucy4 6/29
athena3 7/2
zozo20 7/19

amax (no BCPs)
Newbie (no BCPs)
doolsc (no BCPs)
2LinesIn09 (no BCPs)

Tanter602
TTCAngel34
ms610
TabbyM
thebunn
TracyB
yodasmistress
smiley
getdpg
MaggieMay75
Embracelife
Gypsy
Scteacher
maybeAbabyor2
lag
kaydliz
sspp
stinkycat
3rdtimesthecharm
kate94
GreenMommaToBE
rcriscuolo
umut
Christin2084

Haven't heard from in over a month... come back!
kickernik
shufam
shedaisy0505
jmfong76

Lupron/Suprefact (start date)
Lucy4 7/12
Newbie 7/5
MaggieMay75 7/5
WinniePoo 7/13
Evan 7/17
amax 7/18
Christin2084 7/22
zozo20 7/25
PG_Florida 7/27

Stims (start date)
2LinesIn09 7/19
Lucy4 7/23
Sinkycat 7/26
WinniePoo 7/27
amax 7/28
Christin2084 8/2
Christeena 8/4
PG_Florida 8/5
1dayatatime 8/7
zozo20 8/10
TabbyM 8/14

ER (date)
2LinesIn09 8/2
Stinkycat 8/2
Lucy4 8/3
3rdtimesthecharm 8/5
WinniePoo 8/6
amax 8/9
Newbie 8/15
Christeena 8/15
justwantababy 8/16
PG_Florida 8/17
1dayatatime 8/18
MPisready 8/19
smiley 8/28
Tanter602 8/28

ET/FET (date)
SweatPea FET 7/05
Popotita FET
2LinesIn09 8/5
Lucy4 8/6
3rdtimesthecharm 8/8
WinniePoo 8/9
amax 8/12
newbie 8/20
Christeena 8/20
justwantababy 8/21
PG_Florida 8/22
1dayatatime 8/23
MPisready 8/25

I made a few changes to my protocol. Thanks PGFlorida

[WinniePoo]

Originally Posted by lucy4

Consultation with Dr Silber.

Lucy4: THAT IS MY DR TOO!!! Are you from the area or visiting for your IVF? He's amazing to work with. This is our 2nd round with him! His assisting RE Dr. Pineda is also wonderful. to you!

[lucy4]

Originally Posted by WinniePoo

Lucy4: THAT IS MY DR TOO!!! Are you from the area or visiting for your IVF? He's amazing to work with. This is our 2nd round with him! His assisting RE Dr. Pineda is also wonderful. to you!

I am actually cycling at Cornell, but Dr silber practices urology in NY once a month. He performed a Mesa on my DH and found plenty of sperm (hopefully solving our azoospermia problem). We took the frozen sperm to Cornell and will use it there.

Dr Silber is fantastic! After having a previous testes biopsy with another uro, my husbands swears that he only wants Dr Silber touching him from now on.

Best wishes.

[gangof4]

TTC Angel- I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I can only imagine how upsetting that would be.
I read the Infertility Cure..it's a great book! It may be the answer you are looking for.
I wish you the best of luck!

[TTCAngel34]

Quick update to my story - DH is back to "dear". He apologized for shutting me down outright over the weekend (and insisted that he was only trying to help me not stress out so much by suggesting a hobby) -- he talked to the doctor this morning who agreed to ICSI two eggs. If neither take in a day, we can try another egg. At any rate, because our chances will rest on these two or three little eggs, I'm going to take an extra month to get them and my uterus into the best shape possible with TCM, herbs, royal jelly, and acupuncture.

Wish me luck ladies! I'll be not too far behind you...

[umut]

Originally Posted by TTCAngel34

95%?!! It figures I'd be part of the unlucky 5% (I used it for 3 of my 5 clomid cycles, but one of the 3 cycles is still in progress). Actually, I think that figure is probably pretty optimistic, but that's not to say it won't work for you. To me, a high percentage like that makes sense only for those who have no reason for not getting pregnant. Clearly, it wouldn't help someone who doesn't ovulate or have blocked tubes... I think it would be really helpful for someone who is using clomid, or whose DH has lower motility in order to help the little swimmers get to where they need to go. If you haven't done it before and you have the time, it's definitely worth a try before doing IVF.

If you have a chance, add your stats to your signature so we can see what's gotten you to this point! (Go to "User CP" above and hit "Edit Signature") Good luck!!

PS, Athena -

Thanks TTCAngel34,
I just added my stats to my signature. Pre-seed seems to work for people who has no problem but can't get pregnant. So yeah it is only for people who has unexplained infertility.
I will try it before go to IVF. Never know, it might work. Wish me luck!