[CreoleInDC]

So...erra...only 4 of my eggs fertilized and it messed me up a bit. I was very, very upset. I was hoping for more this time so I could freeze some...you know...with the hopes that next time I decide to do this I won't have to go through all the steps AGAIN. *sigh*

Well...I had this epiphany today. Robby and I were discussing a couple of trips we wanted to plan but ddn't because we didn't know if we'd be preggo or not. Then my girlfriend called and said she needed a vacation too as we didn't take our usual girlfriend vacation this summer. I felt bad.

I realized that this thing has pretty much taken over our entire lives. And have even encroached upon the lives of my friends. *sigh*

I'd already decided if this doesn't work, we're going to take a break until next year but I would kinda say it...and then change my mind. If I have the resources I SHOULD keep trying right? Well...wrong. I need to rest. Get my life back. Get OUR lives back. Get back to the basics of being us.

So fellas...if this one doesn't work for us...I'm really not going to try again until next year. And no...not even January. I'm talking like Spring time or something. I gotta get back to being the me that I LOVE to be.

So...we have four embryos. If neither of them make a baby...CreoleInDC is done for a while. I'm going to schedule our trips and schedule a winter trip for my girls. Maybe we'll go somewhere warm while it's cold here or maybe we'll cuddle up at a ski lodge. Either way...it's back to being me.

Thanks for your support. There are several of you here that I love as if we've been girlfriends FOREVER! I can't WAIT to go to AMKD's baby shower and shopping with Jen! LOL!

Smooches...I'm happy again. Infertility is NOT going to turn me into someone I'm not. Someone bitter and resentful. I've never been that way and I've been through a LOT! If those things didn't destroy my spirit...this ain't either! Humph!

Chin up FABULOUS ones! Whatever it is...we will be FABULOUS living it!

[Tina Marie]

You are so right - it's important to get back to being YOU. We tried 5 years ago with several failed IUI attempts and I took off the last 3 years to get things in to perspective and I'm SO happy I did. I feel as though I am in my last fight to become a mother, but I'm more prepared to accept any negative outcome than I was years ago.

One of the most difficult things about infertility is the thought that you can never identify yourself as being a "mother". It's hard to even feel as though you are a WOMAN because you are an "infertility patient" 24/7. Taking the time to remember that you are SO MUCH more than that is crucial to your long term well-being. I have to beleive that things happen for a reason and all we can do is give it our best. YOu never know what lies just around the next turn for you.

I'm so thankful for having found all of you this last 2 weeks. It's been the biggest support for me. Dealing with infertility comes with so many mental and physical challenges.

I'm curious - have you told many people that you are doing IVF? I've kept it very secret with the exception of a couple of very close friends and family. This is off-topic, but I think I might get a string started on the social stigma attached....

[slobin]

Monica,

I so admire your attitude! Of course I hope it just works for you this time so you don't have to take your break, but if it goes that way I think you are wise to spend some quality time with Robby and your friends and get your life back the way you want it so that you can start fresh again next Spring.

I truly look up to people like you who are able to keep things in perspective and not dwell on the negative. You are an inspiration to all of us!

My fingers are crossed that at least one of those embies will stick tho!

Hugs,

[Lou lou]

Love it - love ya!

I am anxious for the next two weeks to be done with so you can move on with your life(s) (in one direction or another) for a short (ish) break from baby makin' crap. I feel the same way and I haven't been through what you have. Get's old fast!

You've been a great treat to errr "meet"? But I would love for you to be truly free and happy - get your mind clear, get a regular routine back, not think about this everyday.... etc. etc.

I've also been so-so planning things for almost two years on the basis of "what if I'm preggo"?. ENOUGH!

The depression can get hold of you very quickly if you don't pound it into the ground fast. It's hard somedays... very.

This sound really "gay", but I really want this for you... just so you can be done with this phase of your lives. My wish is that you can start crackin' people up on mommy-to-be forums and the like. Complaining about preggo sickness and aches and pains, comparing labor (nightmare) stories. And swapping homemade babyfood recipes!

In this next two weeks, do something you've never done before. Stretch yourself in a new direction to try to get your mind around something else. Go to a cooking class, a book club, yoga class, golfing, or better yet, shop for something you've wanted but didn't want to spend the money on... like a nice handbag (or car)!!

You get the drift. Maybe it's really corny... just writing what's coming in my head when I try to connect as if I'm talking to one of my oldest girlfriends. That's probably what I'd say to one of "my girls".


Lor xoxo

[AMKD]

You have touched my heart. I am praying for you and wish you all the luck in the world. Do what is right for you. You and Robbie are the most inportant people in all this. I admire your strength.

xoxo

[CreoleInDC]

Originally Posted by Tina Marie

You are so right - it's important to get back to being YOU. We tried 5 years ago with several failed IUI attempts and I took off the last 3 years to get things in to perspective and I'm SO happy I did. I feel as though I am in my last fight to become a mother, but I'm more prepared to accept any negative outcome than I was years ago.

One of the most difficult things about infertility is the thought that you can never identify yourself as being a "mother". It's hard to even feel as though you are a WOMAN because you are an "infertility patient" 24/7. Taking the time to remember that you are SO MUCH more than that is crucial to your long term well-being. I have to beleive that things happen for a reason and all we can do is give it our best. YOu never know what lies just around the next turn for you.

I'm so thankful for having found all of you this last 2 weeks. It's been the biggest support for me. Dealing with infertility comes with so many mental and physical challenges.

I'm curious - have you told many people that you are doing IVF? I've kept it very secret with the exception of a couple of very close friends and family. This is off-topic, but I think I might get a string started on the social stigma attached....

My life...my journey is an open book. LOL! I have about 1,200 loyal readers every day on my website.

[CreoleInDC]

Originally Posted by Lou lou

Love it - love ya!

I am anxious for the next two weeks to be done with so you can move on with your life(s) (in one direction or another) for a short (ish) break from baby makin' crap. I feel the same way and I haven't been through what you have. Get's old fast!

You've been a great treat to errr "meet"? But I would love for you to be truly free and happy - get your mind clear, get a regular routine back, not think about this everyday.... etc. etc.

I've also been so-so planning things for almost two years on the basis of "what if I'm preggo"?. ENOUGH!

The depression can get hold of you very quickly if you don't pound it into the ground fast. It's hard somedays... very.

This sound really "gay", but I really want this for you... just so you can be done with this phase of your lives. My wish is that you can start crackin' people up on mommy-to-be forums and the like. Complaining about preggo sickness and aches and pains, comparing labor (nightmare) stories. And swapping homemade babyfood recipes!

In this next two weeks, do something you've never done before. Stretch yourself in a new direction to try to get your mind around something else. Go to a cooking class, a book club, yoga class, golfing, or better yet, shop for something you've wanted but didn't want to spend the money on... like a nice handbag (or car)!!

You get the drift. Maybe it's really corny... just writing what's coming in my head when I try to connect as if I'm talking to one of my oldest girlfriends. That's probably what I'd say to one of "my girls".


Lor xoxo

Lou Lou...now I hope not for ONE minute you don't think I don't spoil myself ROTTEN! LOL! Trust me...it's sickening. LOL!

[gracesmom]

Monica,

I used to do the exact same thing before we finally had our daughter. I especially didn't want to plan any trips because I always thought, "what if I'm pregnant?" I did this for 3 years. It truly takes a toll on you. I think that was the main reason why I decided to try IVF one time and one time only.

I know now how much IF and trying for #2 has affected my husband. The other day I was saying something about calling the dr and going over some of my bloodwork from months ago. He got a look of panic on his face and said, "You don't want to try IVF again do you?" It's that look that stays in my memory of how difficult this struggle is.

It's when I started the "what if I'm pregnant...." scenario a few months ago that I made myself stop and take a long look at what I already have. Life is entirely too short......too short to give up the fight but also too short to give up your entire being to battle this.

I truly hope that this time works for you. You are still way ahead of the game woman!! Don't give up the fight just yet!! You have a good head on your shoulders and I love that you know you'll be fine with or without children. Best of luck..........

Angela

[Lou lou]

When's the transfer??? DAY AND TIME... we can all do a "focus" circle for you while it's happening. I won't call it "prayer", but some of us can pray, while others just focus.

Next thought... since your "spoiled rotten", like I said, stretch yourself. In this case, I'd recommend depriving yourself of your every day "luxery" items.
Wear only sweats, drink "dunkin donuts" instead of Starbucks, take metro transportation (if in city), buy a "pleather" handbag, best of all.... pick one item that you own that you love, but can live without, and donate it to the Goodwill, or some charity. Right???
Yaaaa!! "Not so much" you say????

Plan "D". Stay home. Relax. Go to the spa (if they don't do anything that will "stimulate" you). Read, chat online with us, and do..... "you did what for how many cookies?" with Robbie (sp?)!!!! Alot!!!

Just like the old days! Dinner, music, wine and candles.

Please let us know what day! K? K!!

L

[Lou lou]

I know I'm a bad speller, however.... there's one word I do know how to spell.... luxury!!! Sorry. That bugged me when I read my post! xo

[CreoleInDC]

Originally Posted by Lou lou

When's the transfer??? DAY AND TIME...

Transfer is Tuesday. Won't know the time till manana. Kuchaks is Tuesday too.


In this case, I'd recommend depriving yourself of your every day "luxery" items. No ma'am. No can do.

...take metro transportation (if in city)... HATE the Metro. Somebody is always smoking at the entrance/exit.

...buy a "pleather" handbag... What's pleather? ROFL!

...best of all.... pick one item that you own that you love, but can live without, and donate it to the Goodwill, or some charity. Now that's just crazy talk. I give on the regla. I can't give away something I love.

I know...I'm a hot mess!

[Lou lou]

Okay... I got it!!!!

Color your hair blonde, and start eating at McDonald's! How bout it?

If you're going to be fussy (again), and don't want any of my (fantastic) advice, then we'll have to just see what happens!

This is like the Seinfeld episode when George decides to just do the opposite of every instinct he has to get a different result (in his case - he's trying to change his whole pathetic life).

I miss that show!

Have you had Michelle (Monkd) do a tarot reading for you? Does it creep you out. It intrigues me, but really scares me too - I'm a wimp when it comes to stuff like that. I think spirits are going to start following me).

Sooooo chatty tonite!
Lori

[CreoleInDC]

I'm from Louisiana. We don't do tarot. LOL!

[Lou lou]

Okay, I'm a bit naive...is it because of superstition?
Isn't there alot of "black magic/witch craft" in the south? I am clueless (don't forget I'm in N.H.)!

[CreoleInDC]

Yup...it's because of voodoo. We don't mess around with that stuff. Voodoo people are to be stayed away from (there are about 20 people who prolly actually do voodoo by the way...lol). Tarot isn't voodoo...but Imma still stay away. LOL!