[Gemmabean]

Originally Posted by Tina Marie

It's true - no one "should" be embarrased by it, I just sometimes think that it's not understood widely enough and I simply don't have the energy or patience to educate the world on it. For every person who understands it, there are 10 others who do not. I really do feel that it's a disease and we are seeking medical treatment, and it's just that simple. However, I would be lying though too, if I didnt' say that it has affected my body image and my idea of how feminine I am or "womanly" I am. Having cancer or heart disease wouldnt affect my ability to live a full, whole human life. It wouldnt make me feel less of a woman, and it wouldnt rob me of something that almost every woman I look at gets to have.... being a mother. Infertility is the butt of many jokes ... cancer isn't. I think it's just an awareness and the idea that if you get cancer you are dealt a bad hand of cards.... If you are infertile, it was either "God's plan" for you, or you "shouldn't be a mother". I know that there is a BIG difference, but my point in this post is that I dont think most people do unless they are going through it.

Tina,

I totally see your point. Thanks.

I once said I want a t-shirt that says "Ask me about my infertility" because I think people should be educated and not assume things about us.

Thanks again Tina.

Love,
Julie

[Sarah]

Tina-I see your views so much. I honestly am not embarrased at all of going through IVF. At first I didnt tell many people but I find the more open and honest I am the more it teaches some of the people who dont understand it. When co-workers or friends ask something about why or how I try to explain things to the best of my ability so they would understand like one of us would. I come on here daily and talk to you girls who do understand why and what me and my dh are going through for the extra support and I learn alot from your girls. I think talking to you all makes me stronger. I talk about IVF so much now to my husband cause its such a big part of our life right now. I think alot of times it helps to talk to dh, family and friends. I know it helps me. I do not think it is anything to be embarrased about at all. It is something we are willing to work very hard for. We are willing to do all this so we can build our family and become mommies and I dont think there is anything to be ashamed of in that. I think its something to be proud of.

[lugotwins2007]

Tina Marie -
I am not a regular on this board, but I do read all of your posts and have gotten familiar with many of you from afar. I am also in the 2ww right now until Friday. I have been TTC for 2 years and I get all of the "what are you waiting for?" and my favorite... "it is because you exercise too much or worry too much that it is not happening, just relax". I have told only a select few that we are going through IVF. Funny thing is that when you do tell someone they know two or three people who have gone through it. There is not a wide understanding or acceptance yet in the 'regular' world. 90% of babies are still conceived the old-fashioned way. And as far as that stuff about playing God with IF treatments and that kind of talk, it is hogwash! All of us know that all MDs can do is put the sperm and the egg together. The rest is up to God. NO ONE can't make anything happen that he doesn't want to happen! So, I am with you in sometimes feeling aprehensive about discussing IVF with friends and family because they really don't understand. Stupid comments (like the one the dental assistant made - she was just plain ignorant) are made every day. People don't know what to say! I just stay quiet. But I am proud to be part of history making as we are using my frozen eggs! So when we get the on Friday, I will shout it from the rooftops!

Originally Posted by Tina Marie

It's true - no one "should" be embarrased by it, I just sometimes think that it's not understood widely enough and I simply don't have the energy or patience to educate the world on it. For every person who understands it, there are 10 others who do not. I really do feel that it's a disease and we are seeking medical treatment, and it's just that simple. However, I would be lying though too, if I didnt' say that it has affected my body image and my idea of how feminine I am or "womanly" I am. Having cancer or heart disease wouldnt affect my ability to live a full, whole human life. It wouldnt make me feel less of a woman, and it wouldnt rob me of something that almost every woman I look at gets to have.... being a mother. Infertility is the butt of many jokes ... cancer isn't. I think it's just an awareness and the idea that if you get cancer you are dealt a bad hand of cards.... If you are infertile, it was either "God's plan" for you, or you "shouldn't be a mother". I know that there is a BIG difference, but my point in this post is that I dont think most people do unless they are going through it.

[nurserenee]

Tina Marie--

I understand where you are coming from. All of you ladies say exactly what we all feel... that no one should be embarrassed by IF. The reality, though, is that it does take so much energy to educate everyone. I will talk to people as much as I can, but it gets really old sometimes.

I also work in the Antepartum unit of a woman's hospital and a good number of our patients are IF patients who are having trouble maintaining their pregnancy because of incompetent cervix, hormone balance issues, or because they have multiples. I can tell you that I have heard more than one nurse comment on the fact that many of the problems we treat are on the rise due to the increase in fertility treatments. I even had a nurse say directly to me (when taking care of a woman pregnant with triplets after IVF), "I mean, if she had to go through that much to get pregnant... why should she think it would be easy to stay pregnant." WHAT?!?!

All this to say, I have only told my boss that I am pregnant and haven't told ANYONE at work that I am pregnant with twins. I just know the feelings will be mixed all over the unit. I figure I'll wait until 12 weeks to ensure that both babies make it that far before dealing with the stress of it all.

Embarrassed? Not at all.

Hyper-aware? Absolutely.