IVF in April anyone? - Page 7

Hopeful07 · #91 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 03:06 PM

That's okay Jana - we have pregnancy on the brain 24-7. We will just charge it to our little one's that we will have SOON!

jana · #92 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 03:07 PM

That's great that you have good coverage. Our's pays for very little. I'm glad that the Metformin I take is for diabetes. They wouldn't pay for it if they new the real reason. It's taking everything we have to pay for all of this. We said 3 cycles or $30,000 and then we'll have to rethink our options. I pray it works in 1.

ladybug029 · #93 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 03:24 PM

We just went through our first IVF and it was a BFN. We told pretty much everyone. I work in an office with about 40 people and everyone knew when I was off, so had I not told people they would have been asking where I was. We told our families and friends too. It was nice to have all the support, but it makes more people to tell about the BFN too...When we do our FET, I don't think we will tell as many people. I almost feel like not telling anyone, but we will probably tell at least our parents.

jana · #94 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 03:30 PM

I can't bring myself to tell anyone when we are doin it. I don't know if it's because I don't want to explain it, or what. Our immediate family members are the only ones who even know that we are struggling with infertility. We have friends who have other friends in the same situation, and our friends have made comments to us about how uncomfortable they feel talking about their pregnancy with this other couple.

I was reading the other day about a group who is starting a campaign on Fertility Prevention. Did anyone else see that? I was fuming!!!

irena_adler · #95 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybug029

We just went through our first IVF and it was a BFN. We told pretty much everyone. I work in an office with about 40 people and everyone knew when I was off, so had I not told people they would have been asking where I was. We told our families and friends too. It was nice to have all the support, but it makes more people to tell about the BFN too...When we do our FET, I don't think we will tell as many people. I almost feel like not telling anyone, but we will probably tell at least our parents.

Yeah, right there are the good reasons and bad reasons for telling people! If people know, they won't bother you about taking time off or being sick. But if things don't work out, you have to tell them all that, too.

irena_adler · #96 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jana

I was reading the other day about a group who is starting a campaign on Fertility Prevention. Did anyone else see that? I was fuming!!!

What is Fertility Prevention?

jana · #97 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irena_adler

What is Fertility Prevention?

How to prevent infertility. There is a group out there, the ASRM, who have a campaign going to inform people how to prevent becoming infertile. It only focuses on a few points........smoking, weight, STD, and age. It's good that they let people know about this, but they don't seem to be telling people that there are other reasons that people have infertility issues. It just upset me, becasue none of those problems are the cause of my infertility. I just think that this campaign will put a stigma on those of us going through infertility...........like we asked for this. Sorry for the rant.

irena_adler · #98 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jana

How to prevent infertility. There is a group out there, the ASRM, who have a campaign going to inform people how to prevent becoming infertile. It only focuses on a few points........smoking, weight, STD, and age. It's good that they let people know about this, but they don't seem to be telling people that there are other reasons that people have infertility issues. It just upset me, becasue none of those problems are the cause of my infertility. I just think that this campaign will put a stigma on those of us going through infertility...........like we asked for this. Sorry for the rant.

That's interesting. I agree that it's good to let people know what they can do to help their fertility, but it's bad that those of us who aren't so easily fixed could be stigmatized ...

LadyR · #99 (**permalink**) 02-22-2008, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jana

I don't know if my DH cares one way or the other if we tell people, but we elect not to because we don't want all the questions. Does your DH have MF? I think for most men with MF, they want to keep it secret because it's embarassing....make's them feel less of a man. I'm no shrink, but I know when they thought it was my husband, he was very uncomfortable with anyone knowing. Since it turned out to be me he's respectful of whatever I want to do. Although it maybe hard, try to respect your husband's feelings for privacy. It will make him feel better to know you understand how he feels.

Jana, I am in India and here we are very close knit families. I live with my in-laws and my sis in law is a doctor. So its near impossible to keep things from them. My SIL knows about my DHs azoospermia, but I told my Mother in Law that there is a tubal problem and she automatically assumed it was me! Which is absolutely fine by me as I have a very thick hide! Almost nothing offends me nowadays

Then we are getting IVF done in the city where MY parents live (with my brother and his family!)as the RE there is very good. So now THEY also know, but then again I have told them that there is some problem with me and that was that. Its highly commendable of EVERYONE who knows about our IVF, that they dont mention anything to my DH. Not to me also, till I myself bring the subject up.

The support of friends and family is very important at this time, especially when i would be in another city and my DH would just fly in for a few days for sperm aspiration!! So while I respect his decision of not wanting to tell people, I am keeping it to a very small pocket of people around me. None of HIS friends know and only a couple of MY best frds know as one herself had consulted that RE a few years back and the other is just too good a frd!
So there!
I hope you understand my situation and I will feel a lot less guilty!

jana · #**100** (**permalink**) 02-23-2008, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyR

Jana, I am in India and here we are very close knit families. I live with my in-laws and my sis in law is a doctor. So its near impossible to keep things from them. My SIL knows about my DHs azoospermia, but I told my Mother in Law that there is a tubal problem and she automatically assumed it was me! Which is absolutely fine by me as I have a very thick hide! Almost nothing offends me nowadays

Then we are getting IVF done in the city where MY parents live (with my brother and his family!)as the RE there is very good. So now THEY also know, but then again I have told them that there is some problem with me and that was that. Its highly commendable of EVERYONE who knows about our IVF, that they dont mention anything to my DH. Not to me also, till I myself bring the subject up.

The support of friends and family is very important at this time, especially when i would be in another city and my DH would just fly in for a few days for sperm aspiration!! So while I respect his decision of not wanting to tell people, I am keeping it to a very small pocket of people around me. None of HIS friends know and only a couple of MY best frds know as one herself had consulted that RE a few years back and the other is just too good a frd!
So there!
I hope you understand my situation and I will feel a lot less guilty!

I'm sorry. Did I offend you with what I said?

jana · #**101** (**permalink**) 02-23-2008, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irena_adler

That's interesting. I agree that it's good to let people know what they can do to help their fertility, but it's bad that those of us who aren't so easily fixed could be stigmatized ...

That was my whole problem with the campaign.......the stigma. They plan on putting signs up in at least New York, Seattle, and Chicago. Glad I don't live in any of those places. I think the people who know of our situation, understand that there is more to it than just that.

LadyR · #**102** (**permalink**) 02-23-2008, 08:34 AM

Jana, I wasnt offended at all! I Just went on a little guilt trip there.

Why is infertility a stigma? Its as if we WANT to be infertile!! You can prevent AIDS, you can prevent Tuberculosis, malaria, heart attacks to some extent,etc etc, But can you prevent infertility? My husband was born without a Vas, so how is he to blame for that? Its amazing how quick society is to ostracise people based on flimsy and irresponsible advt campaigns like this! They should not target infertility, just the general health of the population.

jana · #**103** (**permalink**) 02-23-2008, 09:09 AM

I know. That's why I was so frustrated with the article. Glad I didn't offend you! You shouldn't feel guilty about one thing. If anything you should be commended for protecting your husband and his feelings. Although my family and I lives miles apart, we are still close. I couldn't not tell them about what's going on. When I had surgery, my mom came and stayed two weeks with us. It was nice having the help. My mom isn't the most understanding person, but I still needed her to know. She's supportive but never says the right thing.........maybe that's just me being moody.......who knows.

irena_adler · #**104** (**permalink**) 02-23-2008, 09:28 AM

My mom is a terrible worrier that she tries to mask by being ultra cheerful - both which can be quite annoying.

I think my MIL was hurt that we didn't tell her earlier about our health issues, especially since she's a nurse.

There are some things that people in general can do (or not do) to help the overall population's fertility but there has to be an understanding that if you follow A, B and C, you improve your chances, but don't guarantee your fertility. Then again, it wouldn't bother me to get a little more info about MF out there - since everyone seems to assume that it's always the woman's fault ... *grimace*

jana · #**105** (**permalink**) 02-23-2008, 09:42 AM

Irena,

I was reading your signature. I took clomid before I found out I had blocked tubes. It was the worst drug I have ever taken. Each month when I had to take it, I became the meanest ugliest person in the world toward my husband. I would feel so bad once I was done taking them. I don't know how my husband handled me when I was like that. I will never have to take them again............thank God!!!