Hi!

My name is Toby. My husband and I have been married for just over three years , and together for over five and a half. He is Air Force and we are stationed in Germany.

We've been ttc for about 2 and a half years...I've done three rounds of Clomid, but no other treatments. We've just gotten in to see an RE. But, my husband is gone so often, I wonder how timing IUIs will work. (I'm tired of him being deployed, and it should slow down in the next couple of months.)

We have decided to start looking into the adoption process. I guess to just learn as much as we can right now...Whether we adopt in the near future or further on down the road, I don't see how informing ourselves can hurt!

I think the biggest catch is that I'm 21 and my husband is 24. Can someone please give me an honest opinion about how hard it will be for us to even be considered?

Like I said, this is just the very beginning of us looking into this...But we are both very serious about it.

Thanks for your time! And I hope I get the chance to get to know some of you better!

toby

Hi Toby & welcome.

It depends on what route you choose for adoption - domestic parental placement, international, waiting child/foster care adoption. In domestic parental placement age is pretty well irrelevant. Thats up to you and the potential birth family.

I am not as familar with age issues in international and in domestic foster care/waiting child as I've not adopted this way. I'm sure others can help here though.

Some good books on domestic parental placement if you'd like to read up:

Adopting in America: How to Adopt Within One Year by Randall Hicks
The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Molina
Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber

I think the bigger challenge with domestic parental placement for you might be that you're overseas, unless you find potential birth parents who are also military overseas. For instance, an active duty soldier or family member who wishes to make an adoption plan. This is not impossible, though there is a smaller population than if you were here in the states.

Best of luck,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

Hi Toby, (again)

I really don't thinkyour age will matter if you are serious about adopting and have the maturity to make that decision. In international adoption, different countries have different rules for adoption, some state that the aparents have to be 10, 15, or 20 years older than the child, but you should have that if you adopt an infant. And in general, international adoption is more expensive because of the travel costs involved. If you are goiing to be in Germany a while, you might be more interested in that since you are already overseas. You might post a question specifically for military wives because I think there are a few on the forum, they may even have their own forum, I am not sure. They could at least tell you how they are doing it and what the pros and cons are. Either way, good luck and happy hunting!

LBL

Thanks ladies, for the responses! I really appreciate the insight! LBL, I'm talking to some military spouses, and I will be going to a meeting here in just a couple of weeks. But the ladies I'm talking to on-line, are military, just not overseas. I'm not sure, but it seems like a miracle that anyone CAN EVEN adopt...Is it just because I'm new to this, or is there just SO much to learn?

Regina, thank you for the list of books...I'm going to start looking for them today!

toby

Thanks ladies, for the responses! I really appreciate the insight! LBL, I'm talking to some military spouses, and I will be going to a meeting here in just a couple of weeks. But the ladies I'm talking to on-line, are military, just not overseas. I'm not sure, but it seems like a miracle that anyone CAN EVEN adopt...Is it just because I'm new to this, or is there just SO much to learn?

Regina, thank you for the list of books...I'm going to start looking for them today!

toby