Adoption is not second choice, not second option, nor is it a second step.....Adoption is a way of birth into a family, and that's all. When you hold your baby the for the first time and thereafter, you do not dwell on the fact another gave birth to your baby. Adoption is a temporary way of thinking. (what I mean is..Like birthmothers whom give birth to their babies...adoptive mothers do not dwell on the birth or adoption process after the adoption papers are signed...We begin thinking about the future with the new baby/child) Adoption is just a way of birth. That's all.

Adoption Mom: I try and understand where you are coming from, but you said once the adoption papers are signed you forget about bomothers. Do you really think we FORGET? It angers me that some amothers have only selfish feelings for themselves and the child that they were given by unselfish bomothers. We will always be here and for anyone considering adoption must be willings and stable enough to understand that the child they have been given does have another family.

We did not ever forget the birthmothers. You are wrong! We thought of them every birthday, mother's day, and christmas..and sometimes other holidays.... We hope to meet the birthmothers, someday, however, my children do not feel like they have another family waiting for them. Another family is such an abstract idea to them.(maybe not all adopted children feel this way...depends on the family situation, perhaps). After so many years apart from their birthmothers, my children seem to feel they would like to know their birthmother as a friend, not a parent.

Yes, we are looking for the birthmothers; they were not forgotten.

Don't worry adoptive Mom, you are their parents, but in my case my son considers me more than "just a friend". creed