Just wondering how most people are paying for the adoption costs. DH and I had expected the costs to be around $10K, but now that we're actually researching it, we're finding it to be much more, and almost 3x that if we did an international adoption.

We have about $8K in savings, which we're willing to use, but that's at best only going to cover roughly half the cost. (So far, we've been very lucky that our insurance has paid for all our infertility treatments.)

We're considering asking our parents for loans, but wondered how others managed to come up with the money to pay for the high cost of adoption. (Personally, this kind of leaves a bitter taste knowing so many people get PG without wanting to and have babies at no cost to them at all!!!)

Did anyone ask relatives for donations? Is that tacky? DH is totally opposed to it. But I have relatives that are missionaries and are always sending out letters asking for support money. Why couldn't we do the same to support our dreams of raising a family?

I know we'll get a lot of the money back with the federal tax credit, but we still have to pay it up front to begin with, before the gov't will give it back.

Anyway - any info on how others came up with the money would be great to know!

Thanks,
Melissa

we applied for a homes equity loan and also paid as many fees out of pocket as we could, $8,000 saved you are doing great!! I think 30,000 is outrageous and I think about half of that is more like it although there are medical bills involved in some but not all adoptions, do you mind me asking what type of an agency are you looking at?? dream mom!

$30K is the max we've seen - and that would be for an international adoption in Russia, which requires 2 trips for 2-3 weeks each. (The travel costs make up a huge chunk of that number.)

For the most part, we're seeing costs for domestic adoptions run from $10K at small agencies, to averaging between $15-20K at larger agencies. They're a mix of non-profit and private agencies.

That's another question - how many people went with smaller agencies, versus larger national agencies? Some of the smaller agencies are cheaper - around the $10K mark - but they only place between 15-20 infants per year. (One we got info from only placed 6 all last year!) Some of the larger agencies cost more, but they're placing over 100 infants per year - which we would think greatly increase our chances.

-Melissa

Melissa,

We adopted through domestic parental placement. We spent a total of $14K on fees, travel, advertising, meals, car rentals, etc. What we found though was that we didn't spend that all at once - our biggest check written was to an attorney for finalization and that was for $2300 or so.

We did save before we began our process though because we wanted to be sure we had enough. Here are some of the things we did:

1. Asked friends and family for gifts to our 'baby fund' in lieu of presents at Christmas and birthdays. We got a lot of 'extra' gifts to the fund too.

2. Had a couple of garage sales and told everyone we were saving for an adoption. Got lots of 'keep the change' and some outright donations.

3. Sold stuff on eBay.

4. We didn't do this, but heard of others who raised funds through parties with Homemade Gourmet, Party Lite, Mary Kay, etc. The distributor needs to agree though to give you part of the proceeds, not credit for products, etc.

5. Made small changes to our budget - less expensive restarants, no trips, carried lunch, etc. We didn't cut off everything but did 'find' about $600 a month which now of course goes to Ryan's daycare and expenses.

HTH, best of luck,

Regina Amom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

Thanks for the suggestions! Those are great ideas!

We already sell a lot of stuff on eBay and the money typically goes towards car stuff (my husband is a big car guy) - so we could easily redirect that to a baby fund.

In my job, I work solely off of commissions, and the last few months have been pretty slow. If things pick up, then I know we'll have extra funds around, b/c we're surviving now with me bringing home practically nothing!

I guess that brings up another question.... (gee, they just keep popping into my head!) - what's the most anyone had to spend at one time during the adoption process? Tobeafamily said her largest check was for $2300. Is that average? Low, high?

-Melissa

International adoption seems to be the most expensive. Whereas domestic adoption of a newborn can be rather costly as well........and the wait times can be long in SOME cases depending on the process. Many people save some funds by locating the birthmother themselves....

Another option to consider is adoption from the Foster Care system. Generally the children are older---however in most states the is NO COST or a very small fee generally under $500.00 to complete the adoption process. In many states there is also continued subsidies to meet any 'special needs' an older child might have......... This of course is a personal decision.

We are about to finalize the adoption of our 5 year old little girl and her 1-year old brother! YES--we have had to learn about attachment issues and the effects of drug exposure---However, our children are healthy and we have no reason to believe they will not grow up to lead normal--healthy and functional lives. Our out of pocket costs have been ZERO and our oldest child recieves $450.00 a month in order to help her with social and emotional issues she has.......

I just wanted to point this adoption path out to you....... as one of many options you now have to consider.

We have borrowed money from family for both our adoptions, and will again for baby #3 This was offered to us, so we didn't have to approach them and ask, so it may be different? But I'm one of those people who figures it can't hurt to ask!!! We paid it back as soon as we got our taxes back. If you already have $8k saved, in my book that's $18k since you'll get $10k back.

Our first adoption (domestic, private) was about $13k, our second was about $11k (plus travel and homestudy). We've adopted two incredible AA boys, both newborn. Our wait was very short!

The largest amt we paid all at once was about $10k, but this is because our attorney didn't require funds upfront (the birthmother didn't have living expenses before baby's birth). It just depends on the requirements and fee schedule of the agency/attorney you're working with. I would be very hesitant of any agency (or whoever) that required a large amount of money upfront.

We did a private adoption, we weren't comfortable with the agencies we investigated. In int'l adoption, we found China to be the least expensive in the research we did, but I don't know what the current situation is there. We know someone who just adopted a beautiful boy (he's 8) from Kazecstan (sp???).

Blessings to you on your adoption journey.

I understand the IRS tax credit to be just that, a credit. That means you have to have paid in 10K in taxes in order to get the credit for 10K. Otherwise it's considered income. Am I correct?

Yes, the credit is subtracted from your tax liability (the amount of taxes you need to pay for the year). The credit cannot be more than the taxes you owe.

For example, if you make $50,000 and have a tax liability of $6,000 - then the maximum credit you could request for that year is $6000. You would then get a refund back for that amount. Now if you're income is $100,000 and your tax liability is $12,000 - you would still owe $2000 in taxes, but get $10,000 of the taxes you've paid to date back.

At least that's how I understand it.

-Melissa

Melissa,
As for the tax credit.....you have five years to claim your 10K. So, if you can only claim 6K the first year, you can claim the remaining 4K the following year. At least...that was how it was explained to us.

Jessie

Jessie,

You're right. Guess I didn't make that clear. I think I did say you could only claim "that year" the max of your tax liability. But you're right - if you don't have enough tax liability in one year, you can keep using it until it's used up. =)

-Melissa

we are interested in pursuing domestic adoption. can anyone recommend a good agency? i have done research on the web, but would like to hear from anyone who had a positive experience. (we live in NY). thanks in advance.

Louise

WE ADOPTED A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY FROM KAZAKHSTAN IN AUGUST 2003. THE FEE FOR THE AGENCY WAS 18,500 ALTHOUGH THAT DID NOT INCLUDE OUR HOMESTUDY OR ANY OF THE FEES (INS, TRAVEL, COST OF STAYING IN COUNTRY FOR THE 8 WEEKS) THE TOTAL PRICE WAS RIGHT ABOUT 30,000. WE HAD NO MONEY SAVED, WE HAD BEEN PAYING FOR TREATMENT TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. WE ENDED UP ASKING A FAMILY MEMBER FOR A 10,000 LOAN AND THEN MY MOM OFFERED US ANOTHER 7,000. THIS WAS NOT FREE MONEY AND WE'RE STILL PAYING THE LOANS OFF. WE STILL HAD TO COME UP WITH A BIG PORTION AND WE DID THAT BY WORKING ALL THE OVERTIME WE BOTH COULD. I JUST THINK WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY. AFTER SEEING THIS LITTLE BOY ON A PHOTOLISTING I KNEW IMMEDIATELY WE NEEDED TO HAVE HIM AND THE COST COULDN'T BE AN ISSUE. WE'VE HAD HIM HOME FOR 7 MONTHS NOW AND HE'S PERFECT. ADOPTION USUALLY IS NOT EASY AND IT CAN BE HARD WAITING BUT IT'S VERY WORTH WHILE IN THE END.

If you do international adoption the largest payment you would probably make would be the "program fee". These range from 8-11,000 (or more possibly) depending on the country/agency and what exactly is included in the program fees. We also interviewed an agency that had an 18,000 fee for domestic adoption.
As HappyMom indicated Foster Care is practically free when you compare it to other paths of adoption. In Massachusetts I believe you get free college tuition to any state school if you adopt through the foster care system. You can also get a yearly subsidy if you adopt special needs children (siblings are also considered special needs in Mass). So you may want to check with your state DSS.

As for how to pay for it - it's reviewing your budget, saving any place you can, home equity if possible - my company also grants adoption subsidies to employees (2500.00 in my case) so you should check that out as well. We have also been accruing frequent flyer miles to help pay for our airfare (we are adopting from Russia). Family can donate frequent flyer miles to you as well.

You figure out a way! Good luck-

My husband is a full time college student, with 2 years left, and we definately cannot afford a traditional adoption. We don't have health insurance anymore, but when we did, I had 4 failed IUI's. We've given up after 3 1/2 years of trying, and we want to be parents very soon, not when we're older.

Now we just enjoy sex for being fun, not a schedule we have to maintain. Didn't mean to be graphic, just honest, and I know there's more of you out there who can relate. How romantic is it when you get out of the strirrups, and the nurse says " now you have to have intercourse tonight, and tomorrow morning would be good too.

Since we don't want to wait till he's out of college, and we can't afford adoption, we decided to go the foster adoption way. It's either free, or nearly free. THAT we can afford.

Does anyone have any idea how many waiting children there are right here in the US that are desperately wishing someone will pick them? So much cheaper, so much more guaranteed. I know I have a lot of love to give, and as soon as we're licensed to be a foster parent, we're adopting.

I WILL BE A MOM!!!!!! I hope soon, though...
Thanks for hearing me out guys....
Melissa