I don't really know where to begin. Everything happened really fast. I am 22 years old, my husband and I have been married for 3 years. I decided to go off the pill in August of '03. We tried for one month. I was late already. I thought,"Wow that was easy." I waited a week to take the test. The fifth day I started haveing pain, dizziness, and a pain in my shoulder. I went to the doctor and they discovered that I was not pregnant, but I had cysts on my ovaries. I finally found a female doctor who could take care of me and I had them removed, one was over 4inches. During the laproscopy she discovered that my uterus was very small and miss shapen. I was told immediatly after my surgery, while still half asleep and very drugged, that I would probably never be able to have children. Devestated, I tried to consentrate on recovering from the laproscopy. I was sent to the only Infertility doctor within a 200 mile radias(I live in a very rural area)and was supprised to find that maybe I wasn't the freak that the previous doctors and radiologists had made me feel I was. Last weekend I went in and he did a test, its name is longer than I care to say, he shot dye into my uterus to see exactly what my problem was. So, I have a uterine anomoly called unicornate uterus. Also, my uterus is only half the size that it should be and my left ovary is disconected from my uterus. A condition that I have had since before birth and didn't know. I might be able to carry a baby, but the chances are great that I will not be able to carry it full term and I run a great risk of tubel pregnancy. The doctor already tried to talk to me about drugs. Also, they can not keep my cysts from coming back. They can manage them with birth control, but the fertility guy says, if you want to get pregnant now do it. But I am not sure what I want to do know. We have been through so much the last monthes and we are broken. My soul is broken. All of this seems too big for me. Please, someone help! What do I do?

Hi Bethanie,

I can truly understand your pain. I have Stage IV+ endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS, and two blocked tubes. Infertility is such a heartache. I wish I had the magic words to help you get through this, but they really don't exist. Being unable to have children breaks your heart. But like all heartbreaks, you find a new path and your heart begins to heal. My favorite saying is "Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one". The hard part is finding the new path. I went through 2+ years of infertility treatments with no success. And while I sometimes feel foolish for waiting so long to begin the road to adoption, it was just the path that I had to take. If you're looking for an e-pal, PM me and I'd be glad to e-mail with you back and forth. Open your heart to what you truly want for a family and the answers will come. Just know that it might take time to decide what is best for you.

Kristin

I am very sorry to hear about all of you female problems. I kind of know what you are going through. I am 25 and have been married almost 5 years. My husband and I had been trying to conceive for about 3 years before we went to the doctor for test. We found out that he had zero sperm and I have polycystic ovary disease. With two strikes aganist us we did not know what to do. After many months of soul searching, midnight talks and hours and hours of research we decided to go the adoption route. I think it is a personal decision that you should make with your husband and hopefully you will have the support of your family in whatever decision you will make. Take some time to "soak" in all of the info that you were given, and then make your decision. Please keep us updated. GOOD LUCK in which ever journey you choose to travel.
cc

I came across your thread and remembered that last week a very similar thread was posted in the "General" area (which Jen responded to). I thought I'd let you know about it so you have another source of info..

Adoption Forums > Adoptive Parents > Adoptive Parent Support > General Adoptive Parent Support > Question for infertile adoptive parents


Good luck.

- Marty

Infertility is so vicious. It really makes you say "Why me?" What did I do to deserve this? It makes you more upset when you see people having children that should not be having them or can not take care of them. I too have been diagnosed with PCOS. I don't know how a doctor can tell sitting across a desk from you while you tell him how your married life has been being unable to conceive for 13 years. Then he just tells you....you have PCOS. You get mad because you don't know how "you" got it! But then you also find out that your husband has a low sperm count and low motility. And you wonder......What did he do to deserve that? We are doomed! Then you start to check into infertility treatment, which a few years ago you heard was a "test tube baby" and ya kind of freak out............plus the cost is so high you will never be able to afford it. Maybe the insurance company wants to pay, maybe they don't..................Finally one day you come to a decision...you are going to adopt. You are going to give a home to a child that someone else can't. At first you are ashamed......ashamed what others will think. Afterall you have always heard "When are you having kids?" "Why don't you have any kids" "What?? Are you still practicing?" But then it finally happens, you decide to do that adoption. You go through mounds of paperwork......and classes and background checks.....thinking all along....."Why don't they do this to all Natural parents?" You live through all of that and then one day out of the blue you get a call "We have a child for you" Finally you hear that child........a child.........call you "mom" for the very first time. You then realize it doesn't matter if I gave birth or not. It just matters that we are a family. Ahhhh the joys of infertility!

Hi.

Mysticah is right, it is a whole process!!!!!!!! Some people choose to go throug fertility treatments, some don´t. Some of those treatments work, some don´t. You will have to think and decide it with your dh. It is not a easy decision, and it would be nice that someone would tell you with certainty ."..do this!!!!!

I have not adopt yet, but I will.

I have PCOS, I have had three miscarriages, one more devastating than the other. For the first two pregnancies I did not have any treatment, but for the third one "IVF". The last pregnancy was the longest "four months", I gave birth to a dead baby,,, that is the most devastating and painfull experience I have gone through. Only from my perspective, having a miscarriage like that is more painfull than just knowing you can not have babies.

Sometimes I think "why didn´t I adopted from the beginning?" but, sometimes I think "at least I tried!. Sometimes I think that adoption should be considered with or without biological children. It is a whole combination of feelings and thinkings until you finally decide what you are going to do. You will", do not worry, your heart will guide you through.


I am sorry about what you are feeling right now, I know how it is, but do not worry, you do have options! and this pain will go away!

I was surfing for info on laproscopy and I found your post about your uni. I have a uni also. I was diagnosed in 1999, and was told to prepare for several miscarriages and premie babies (most likely 27 weekers). I only have one ovary which is more rare than a uni with 2 ovaries. Lucky me. I've had doctors tell me that I must be mistaken and I mean bicornuate, and xray techs tell me they've never seen a real uni only ones in books. How nice.
I concieved 2 months after my HSG with the help of clomid and I carried to 35 weeks and had a beautiful son. My uterus size is slightly larger than the typical uni, so that might have effected the length of my being able to carry. My point is that I did. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I sobbed for days and felt like a freak. But dont' give up hope.
We are in our 32nd month of TTC#2. I have since been diagnosed with PCOS, though I have no cysts my hormones are wacky. But I did it once and hope to do it again.
Good luck!

Weezy
I was stunned to see that someone else posted on this thread after all this time. Honestly, I haven't given this site to much attention for a while. Mostly I have been trying to put my infertility in its place. I am trying to get a grip on the fact that it doesn't own or define who I am. Two mos. ago I completely gave up on ttc. I had been trying for almost a year naturally and haveing no luck and on the verge of insanity. My dh and I just couldn't take it. We decided in the begining that we were unable to go for the fertility treatments because the insurance doesn't cover it and we cannot afford something so expensive over what could have been a very long length of time. In a few years we may adopt, my husband is adopted, so it was something we wanted to do anyway. Being 23 and 25, we are still young and we are just concentrating on trying to put our souls back together. Infertility is so damageing to every part of your life, the worst is your mariage.
I am glad that you have had such blessings, despite the uni and pcos. Did you need to know stuff about lapo. I still remember it mostly. Ask me anything?
I was diagnosed with PCOS without any kind of hormonal testing, which I know now you need. So, In a year or so I am going to go to another doctor to see if I have it or not. I already have her picked out, she is a gyn that specializes in PCOS. I am waiting because I just want to drop out of the medical eye for a year. I am on bc, and doing good with that. I did go on Gluecophage for two mos, without any sugar testing I might ad, and it made me hypoglycemic (whatever it is called).
Feel free to pm me or email me. zoebeth3@yahoo.com
I am in contact with another uni who is 12 wks yestarday. She has had multi. miscarraiges in the past, we are keeping our fingers crossed. Beth "When The Cradle is Empty" good book!

Seems funny an insurance company can dicatate your having a child, or not.

Bethanie:

Good to know you are giving it a time off. Sometimes it´s necesary. You are very yong and should not hurry w/any decision you make.

What happend w/your hypoglycemia?, I had it for almost 6 months, I am better now.... I´m never going to take glucophage again... those six months were terrible... I felt so dizzy and sick.

Hope you have a nice day.

Goma
I found about the glucophage from here and another site. So being diagnosed with the pcos I thought, shouldn't I be takeing this. So I go to my doctor and said, "I think I should get some of this." Without so much as a blood test she writes me a perscription like it was asprin. I took the 500mg without much problem, but the 1000 nearly killed me, literally. I had been taking them for about a week 500 twice a day, and one evening I was really ill. I was dizzy, sick to my stomach, and confused. I asked my pharmasist about it, and he said I should be checking my sugar. So I bought one of those finger pricking machines and took it as soon as I got home, already feeling sick again. My sugar was 58 when it should be 80-100. Really scary. I think if I wasn't over weight, it might have really affected me. I have been told, but not by a doctor, that I may of trouble with my sugar for the rest of my life because of the over exposure of 2mos time. Every now and then I get really shaky if I haven't had something to eat for a couple of hours. Thanks for your concern and advise. It helps to have validation from people who understand.
Mysticah, Maybe I am reading too much into your post. Are you criticizing me? My dh and I included in our final decision the fact that the fertililty drugs can cause major medical problems and also we did not want to put ourselves through years of slavery to a schedualed sex life that had little to no chance of getting us what we wanted. There are so many factors to my infertility that I would have a better chance getting struck by lightening in the same place twice, than getting preg. and carrying the baby to term. Even with the drugs. I read your post like this, "Why would you let money get in the way of you haveing a biological baby." I hope that I am wrong by reading it in that way, and if I am not I hope that I have explained a few more important reasons why we chose not to go that direction. I do hope to one day have my own child, maybe not one who has my blood, but my own none the less.

Bethanie... I am sorry about your health problems, I had them as well. 53 was my sugar level when I took the test after stopping the 1000 mg of glucophage. I felt shaky too when I didn´t eat for a couple of hours and felt terrible.... Someone told me it could last forever, fortunately it didn´t, and after 6 months of strict diet I got much much better. I hope you get well soon as well!!!!!!

Hugs

Pat

Bethanie!!!!! Heavens NO! I never intended NO such thing!

I am not a criticizer! Just meant in general its not fair an insurance company can dictate. NOT your situation personally.

I was stating facts in our situation. I'll be quiet now........

Mysticah
I feel like such a jerk!!!!!!!!! I saw at the bottom of the post next to your signature that you are an adoptive mother yourself. I hadn't noticed that before. Then of course you know how I feel. I am sorry. I guess I am still a little touchy on the subject afterall. I forget about things, or at least drive them out of my mind. I truely thought I was semi back to normal, but apparently I am still crazy hormonal. I hope I hope I hope you can forgive me for getting so dramatic.
I hate insurance, you pay your whole adult life, your parents paid the whole time for you before, and it is hardley ever handy. You certainly do not get back all that you put into insurance. I have stated more than once that it is more trouble than it is worth. Especially the one we have, it covers nearly nothing.
Goma.... what kind of diet? Thanks Hugs Beth

Beth... No sugar at all!!! two little carbs a day (one of them could be a piece of wheat bread, a little corn or 1/2 potatoe) a day and almost everything else was allowed.

I had to eat 6 times a day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, two in between and one after dinner. This last three meals that i mentioned where yogurt and fruit, or peanuts. There were some fruits that I couldn´t eat though.... pinaples, apples, pears, grapes, bananas because they have a high sweet content. The recomended fruits are the citric ones, such as orange, tangerine, and others like papaya, melon, watermelon etc....

No chocolate (even if it is light), no carrots, all other vegetables are allowed.

You can not stop consuming carbs totally because it is bad for your body, however, you have to measure them.

A lot of proteins!!!! meat.... Be carefull with sausages and ham... they are made with flour believe it or not!

I hope it helps,,,, It really worked for me... a specialist did that diet for me.

Hugs

Pat