I have always thought that there is something positive learned after a difficult experience in our lifes.

For you guys that have experienced infertility.. What has been the good thing learned out of it? If you consider it exists, of course.

I would say that what I had to examine very closely was just how committed I was to become a parent. When we ultimately became parents, I had no ambivalence because of the road we had traveled. I don't think I could have said that if we were able to conceive. Although we felt ready to be parents, we really hadn't explored all aspects of parenting, which is what we ultimately had to do. Also, when you have to work so hard at something, and suffer so many setbacks, it makes you closely examine just how important your destination is to you.

That's just my personal insight I obtained.

Thanks Plareb... that is really an important one!!

Interesting question--Since I knew about my infertility long before we wanted children, I didn't go through the same discovery process that others have. I consider that a blessing--we knew that we wouldn't get pregnant w/o medical information and when dh had his own issues--it was as if the decision was already made for us.

Now that I have my daughter, I can't imagine having a child any other way--no muss, no fuss and I could drink champagn at the baby shower!

I'm a single adoptive mom. As I aged, no soulmate seemed out there. So, I went on the journey myself. All I ever wanted was my little blessing.

I have had gynological problems for years. I had long term relationships, where we tried. I have PCOS. I was never diagnosed with infertility, though I never became pregnant.

I have PCOS. I had uncontrolled bleeding. I had a hysterectomy 2 months ago. They found polyps, fibroids, adenomyosis and large cysts on my fallopian tubes. Ovarian cysts and a small fibroid was the only thing that showed on my sonograms.

What I came to realize how lucky I am to be healthy now. How blessed I am to have my son.

As far as a plus - well I just recently saw the movie Somethings got to give - Jack Nicholson asked "What about birth control?" - Diane Keaton replied with "MENOPAUSE". As I started to laugh, Jack came back with "who's a lucky boy!" I nearly fell off the couch, thinking, Geez, I can come back with that now.

I think the biggest blessing is that I can identify with others going through a similiar experience. i can offer advice or just a listening ear. When you know someone has felt the same feelings you have felt it helps to realize your not alone in your trial.

Without infertility issues we may not have pursued adoption....which means we would have missed out on these beautiful children that we now have.

Although i would love to feel what it is like to be pregnant....the thought of actually giving birth doesn't seem quite as fun....i have the blessings of children without the "physical" pain of actual delivery.

However, if by some miracle I do become pregnant....it would be a dream come true....and it would definately be worth the pain of labor and delivery.

Aunt Flo never visits my house!!Ha ha

Originally posted by frodorocks
Aunt Flo never visits my house!!Ha ha

LOL -- me neither! Well, just a ghost of her

My pro is our beautiful, wonderful, amazing daughter "E"!!!! Even though infertility and the "treatments" were awful I can now look back and be grateful for what I learned and also be grateful for where I was led. If I had been fertile I know that I couldn't have produced anything more lovely than "E". Because of infertility DH and I were led to adoption and to "E's" birthmother. If I had been fertile we wouldn't have the greatest blessing of the most spectacular little person in our life... I wouldn't trade any of it for anything!

Thank you guys for your response... Looking at the pros always make you feel better about the cons!!!

Similar to the first responder, having fertility issues has made me a better mother...more appreciative of the cildren I already have. I have had 6 losses and it is the concensus that my two children are medical flukes. We are trying one last time (this month) for a third baby. I know what ever I get (no baby or a third) I am so lucky to have what I do and I would not trade it for the world! Being a better, more appreciative mother makes me a better person. I also find that I am smiling a lot more these days.

For me the road to adoption meant we examined ourselves as people more than we ever would have. We read books and attended classes that we never would have and have benifited us greatly! Though at times the waiting never seemed to end, looking at my boys and what we went through was so, very worth it. I think I am a better, stronger person today because of what we went through. I think the appreciation for my boys is much greater than it would be otherwise.

I really agree with what the others have posted. When we first started trying to conceive I was ready to go! My husband said he was ready too, but the excitement just wasn't there. Well, three long years later we both are totally together in our excitement and anticipation of waiting for our adopted daughter. This extra time has brought us closer as a couple and brought a whole new appreciation and desire for our baby. If for some medical miracle I could have gotten preg, I am sure that my other health issues would have made the experience stressfull and miserable. It has been a blessing in disguise, and the way I am sure it was meant to be. At first I wasn't sure if I would be upset not having a newborn (we are adopting from China and she will be 8-14 months when we get her) but I am really OK with that now too. I can only afford to stay home for the first 12 weeks, so at 8-14 months she will be active and moving around, already have a little personality of her own. I get to stay at home with her at the age when babies are really becoming fun! I wouldn't have been able to do that if I had her as a newborn. Plus, I have a coworker that was put on bedrest and used most of her 12 weeks of family leave before the baby was born! Luck and good fortune are all how you look at it!

Shannon