Hi! I'm relatively new around here. I signed up a while ago and got distracted with job stuff, moving, and some IF attempts here and there. Hopefully I can get to know you guys over here and the longer story will bear out, but in brief (or atleast I'll try), our chances of having biological kids without IVF is basically none. My husband has SEVERE IF - like there all there, but the don't move and they're not shaped right and I have borderline high FSH and I think CM issues also. We are NOT up for IVF, especially considering the low chances. We have done a few donor IUI's - two of which resulted in pregnancies with early miscarriages. SO - here we are - we haven't been dealing with it for a while because we've had a lot going on, but now we're right back here again trying to figure out what to do next.

My thinking, and I know this is totally non-traditional, is to pursue international adoption and more IUI's simultaneously. I figure that way, we at least have a couple things in the works and we can sort of leave it to fate. Don't get me wrong, we don't have all this money to throw away, but we already bought a house that was significantly less than we could have bought on an interest-only loan, just to account for the fact that hefty fees were in our future - and IUI is really only a few hundred a month (nothing like IVF).

Is this crazy? I feel comfortable using this approach, but I wonder if adoption agencies will not want to work with me because they'll think I'm not "over it" yet.

Let me know what you think - honestly - even if you don't agree with me, I'd be happy to hear some reasoning I may not have considered.

Thank so much! Feel free to post or PM me. And I look forward to getting to know you on this crazy journey!
Aimee

I, for one hope it goes well for you, it's sad you've had miscarriages but you seem to be a down to earth person who's dealing sensibly with the situation.

My husband and I going through tests ourselves at the moment finally after 11 years of trying to find a sympathetic doctor so are at the beginning of the 'journey' so you have one up on me. It's good to be able to discuss things like this with other people who understand and have 'been there'.

Montravia

We went through several unsuccessfull AI attempts. We set a limit for ourselves, how far we were willing to go, how many attempts. While we were doing this I researched adoption: domestic vs. international, agencies, countries, timelines, fees, etc. When our last AI didn't take we immediately called the agency we had selected, and did so excitedly. I felt like we were finally on our way. Our agency and country we picked will not allow us to adopt if we are preg. so we have stopped trying and are actually taking "precautions" for the first time in years. While most likely not nec. I am not willing to allow anything to derail our adoption journey at this point in time.
I personally would not pursue both and I think most agencies would agree. It is really important to commit yourself to an adoption and know that adoption is what you want. We don't feel like we are doing this as a second choice or last chance, we feel like this was what was meant to be and TTC was part of the journey to get here. To be honest, preg. is the last thing on my mind, I am so in love with the idea of my adopted daughter. Plus, I get to drink wine, paint the nursery myself and wear cute clothes as a plan the trip of a lifetime to China!
Not doing both is not a financial issue but more of a statement about where you are mentally in this process. If you are still pursuing fertility treatments use this time to research, there is a limitless supply of information out there, or even start lurking and asking questions on some of the othet boards here. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. I know too well how painfull the process can be...... but we are so happy with our choice.