[islainireland]

Even though I truly believe that I have come to terms with my own unexplained infertility, I still feel incredibly sad when I read other women's stories.

I remember reading a quotation once that said something like, 'Life may not work out the way that you planned but that doesn't mean that it can't be fantastic anyway". And I tried my best to hold on to that thought during the down days!

Writing down my thoughts and feelings and experiences really helped me through the darkest days. Infertility seems to be a subject that women (and men) are loathe to discuss openly so it's vital to have some sort of 'release valve', whatever form it takes.

I wish you all luck, happiness and love!



www.pinkforagirl.com
www.pinkforagirl.blogspot.com

[karenbp]

I agree that writing down what your feeling is a good thing.. it is therapeutic somehow. I thought I had come to terms with my unexplained infertility and decision to live life to its fullest without children of my own.. until my nephew died.

Christopher, my brother's only child, was killed at the age of 16 by a hit and run driver. He was the only child in my immediate family. His death made me question my decisions all over again.. brought all those feelings about my infertility that I thought I had "resolved" right back to the surface.

I am once again struggling with my choice... though I do still believe it is the right one for my husband and I... we have lost our future and our little family seems so lonely without Chris...

I have a feeling that all throughout our lives we may have these feelings resurface. I am reading a few books right now on living childfree and it seems that people like us (for whom it wasn't a first choice) may feel regret or lonliness at certain times in our lives.

I am curious how you feel about your future and if you ever have these feelings resurface?

Wishing you happiness too.
Karen

[EllenSTL]

Hi, I'm a new member. My husband and I are on our 3rd medicated IUI attempt and talking more about choosing to be childfree; we're uncertain about both IVF and adoption. I've read "Sweet Grapes" but am looking for more books about being childfree after infertility. Isla, I've just ordered yours from the Amazon UK store. Thanks for any info.

[PamelaJeanne]

Originally Posted by EllenSTL

I've read "Sweet Grapes" but am looking for more books about being childfree after infertility. Isla, I've just ordered yours from the Amazon UK store. Thanks for any info.

You can also find the book Silent Sorority on Amazon.com.

Wishing all who visit here a peaceful resolution in the often unpredictable journey that accompanies coming to terms with infertility.

Pamela
Coming2Terms

[baby_amour]

Hello Ladies,

I just joined this site. Like many of you, I too have gone through all the fertility treatments and difficult experiences. After 3 IUS, and 3 IVFs, I'm ready to give up. I suppose there is always adoption, but it's still hard to fathom that I cannot conceive. I have always tried to live a healthy lifestyle (no drugs, no alcohol, non-smoking). I even worked out all the time, at least 4-5 days a week! Anyway, after several attempts of trying (2 yrs on our own, then another 3 yrs. with medical help), I am on my last draw. For the most part, I have really been fairly positive, but lately it's been really hard to get in that mind-frame. I know that I shouldn't buy one of those home preggie tests, but I did anyhow, and to my not-so-very-surprise luck, it is once again So here's the thing: I have a blood test scheduled early next week, so I guess it would be a miracle indeed if it turns out , now wouldn't it?!

Anyway, God bless us all. Thank you for letting me vent a little.

Amour

[baby_amour]

[quote=islainireland]'Life may not work out the way that you planned but that doesn't mean that it can't be fantastic anyway".

Thanks for sharing that quote, but I just feel like it's one of those sayings that people say like, "Things always work themselves out" to try and make everyone feel better. But it's just hard when people (good intentioned folks, I'm sure) come up to you and ask, "When are you guys having kids?" as though it were in our power to do so. I just sometimes feel like telling those folks to "stick it" in their ear or something. It's just the dumbest question to ask anyone, I think!!!

[karenBFP]

I have no childrren happily married and have recurrent missed miscarraiges at 10wks and 8wks we have looked into adoption and starting training for this next year. My miscarraiges are unexplained so its somthing that cant be fixed because there is no problem to fix.
I was diagnosed with aps blod clotting disorder when pg 8yrs ago and given asprin and fragmin injections everytime i am pg but this never works for me. I am now at my wits end i am getting no younger and i am ttc again and when and if it does happen i will start steriods called prednisone. If this does not work i will adopt a child that needs the love i can give. Adopting a child will be fantastic i will love and treat that child no different than i would if i had my own. I to write down my feelings and it does get me through the day and night i also write poems about my losses and the way i feel. I am learning to except thats its more than likely i will not give birth to a child of my own. It does hurt but i try to forget and look to the future you can still have a bright life and still be a mum and be a family by adopting and i am looking foward to being a adoptiive mum.

I had a old friend from school speak to me on the streets coming home from shopping just after i had lost my pregnancy
at 8wks gestation 2mths ago she has a little girl and pregnant again and we was speaking when i told her i had just lost
a child she just come out with and it said cant you have kids or what! I was in shock that she could be so heartless
and just cme out with somthing like this. She then went on to say rubbing her belly that she did not want the baby she
was carrying and it made me sick i couldnt wait to get away from her and felt so sad that someone can act that way.

xx