[30somethingmom]

When my husband and I decided to adopt after 2 miscarriages and 4 years of longing to be parents, I felt a huge sense of relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Our decision just felt right, unlike our struggles to conceive. For the first time in quite a while, I was filled with hope again and believed I would become a mom one day.

How did you feel when you decided to adopt?

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by 30somethingmom

When my husband and I decided to adopt after 2 miscarriages and 4 years of longing to be parents, I felt a huge sense of relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Our decision just felt right, unlike our struggles to conceive. For the first time in quite a while, I was filled with hope again and believed I would become a mom one day.

How did you feel when you decided to adopt?

I felt the same way, just this huge relief that I didn't "have" to get back on the TTC journey. It did take time after that initial relief to work through all my feelings about the decision though. We were happy to be moving on but there was lots of "stuff" to deal with. We are thankful we made this decision when we did though...

[AuntyforEver]

We are just getting to that point. We still have a couple procedures to do and hoping those work but if they don't then it is IVF (Which my Dh is not willing to do right know) or adoption. I just don't know. When do you know?

[Michelle9876]

Originally Posted by AuntyforEver

We are just getting to that point. We still have a couple procedures to do and hoping those work but if they don't then it is IVF (Which my Dh is not willing to do right know) or adoption. I just don't know. When do you know?

Wondering the same thing. My husband is ready to adopt because he wants to be a father and be a family. I'm still focused on wanting to be pregnant and give birth. Sounds silly but I want to experience all the ups and downs of pregnancy (morning sickness and labor pains). I haven't figured out how people move on to the point where they are accepting of adoption. When we started TTC, I thought I would never do IVF simply because I never thought it would get to that, but when it got to that, I had no problems going forward. Maybe it's similar with adoption... but I don't know that for sure right now.

[Murphette]

It is a relief once you finally make the decision to adopt. But it can take a long while to get there, then you have lots of other decisions to make like what agency, what type of child, how old, etc.

I think if we had the money I might have gone on to try IVF with donor eggs, but it was way too expensive. Once the RE told me I could no longer try with my own eggs, and given the tremendous depression and heartache we went through during our two failed IVF tries, and the fact that we've been at this for 15 years, it really was time for us to move on or to decide to remain childless.

[AuntyforEver]

That is a great portfolio! Is it ALOT of work to adopt?

[sarah16]

I didn't think the homestudy was any more work than IF is. The researching is time consuming for deciding if you want to go through an agency, attorney or what.

Murphette, I also have my portfolio done, if you PM me with your e-mail address I can send you an invitation to see it if you would like.

[Murphette]

I agree -- it's not a lot of work but there is a lot of research and decision making you have to do. It seems that you have things to do which you stress out about, in my case taking classes, getting the homework done, getting the required paperwork done, getting the portfolio done, then getting the house ready for the home study. But it's punctuated by a lot of waiting in between those things which can be nerve racking. You're right Sarah -- it's a lot like IF.

Basically, I like things to keep moving along, so the wait in between things is difficult for me and time seems to move so slowly during those periods. I just try and keep myself busy with other projects.

Sarah, I pm'd you my email address.

[Bri01]

The way I came to this decision years ago, prior to going through IVF last year was by asking myself what was more important, having a biological child, or wanting a child. I now have both and feel no different for either...they are my life. DD was easier physically though emotionally adoption can be a real challenge. IVF was a lot of work, and after a difficult pregnancy and a very early delivery, I am just happy that he is here and healthy. The one thing I miss about being pregnant is laying down at night and watching my tummy do the wave as he was moving. That was an awsome feeling.