[Kay]

We have adopted three children.. two I was there for their birth and one we adopted at age 7. We have been so blessed by all of these children. The seven year old (now 10) and my now 9 year old are great buddies. They share a room and play very well together. I know this is the "ideal" but I am telling this so people have hope that it can happen. I recommend adoption with all my heart.
Kay

[Dakotabluebaby]

If you go through the county or state through Foster/adopt there is more risk involved in the parents turning their lives around and 'earning' the child back, but the process is usually 6 months to a year. There are older children who are already free to adopt as well. Foster/adopt is usually free or costs relating to the adoption are reinbused later. In PA there is the SWAN network and I believe there is a Full US one as well as some other individual states. I guess my point is don't give up until you look. I have a friend who is in the process of adopting a 6 month old healthy baby boy from foster care (young children are placed in foster/adopt homes also know as fast track to minimize number of homes a child must live in...they are not those on the internet)
Hope this helps

[themainissue]

Originally Posted by Dakotabluebaby

If you go through the county or state through Foster/adopt there is more risk involved in the parents turning their lives around and 'earning' the child back, but the process is usually 6 months to a year.

Like Dakota said, this is not the case if the child's parents have terminated their rights. This will be the case in the majority of older children in the system. Our daughter's parents had terminated their rights years before we got her, and unfortunately she'd been shuffled to 14 different placements before she got to us. It just absolutely sucks for those older kids, since it seems like all anybody wants are the babies.

On the other hand, one can totally sympathize with the idea of wanting them little. With the older kids you get a whole different set of challenges, and still miss out on the infant-toddler years.

If I ever meet my daughter's real mom I may likely punch her in the face. She has no idea how selfish she was and what she did to that girl.

[mlb]

Any books by Jayne Schooler are great in regards to adoption. I have heard her speak twice and she is so knowledgeable about adoption. Good luck on your journey! You will be an expert at filling out papers; it is amazing how this process generates such paperwork.

[rainysparadigm]

Just a quick question - what is considered an "older child" per adoption? What are the risks involved in adopting an older child, such as biological parents trying to take them back, etc?

[Kay]

rainy- I don't know a specific age which is considered "older". I think any child out of the infancy to toddler stage would be considered "older". Most of these children have been or are in the fostercare system. I guess the risk, more than birthparents getting them back, would be attachment disorders or behavior issues. We have adopted an older child (7 at time of adoption) and we have been so blessed. I believe that many of the porblems associated with older children can be overcome when the child realizes they are in a forever family receiving love and consistent boundaries. Most older children who are available for adoption have already had the biological perents rights terminated or relinquished. An adoption which "fails" most often results because the laws of the state were not followed. Most states have cleaned this system up so there isn't a custody fight after an adoption. I don't know if this has helped any. hope so.
Kay