[jm5mc5]

After a a very long IVF road, we were blessed with a healthy baby boy late December.

Now comes the decision, what to do with all of the extras? At 40, I don't see us having any more, and storage is becoming expensive.

My doctor says they should probably be destroyed because new legislation makes donation hard -- but not impossible I would think. { I don't have all of the details yet}

I just think that there are so many people who want children and would make wonderful parents but don't because of financial or other reasons. And it's a shame for a child not to experience the love of that kind of parent ----especially in a world where teenagers have babies and throw them out in the garbage. Or regular adoption is even more costly. All of these organizations make exhorbitants amount of money, while we find ourselves mortgaged or in debt just to have a child to love.

Does anybody have any ideas or informationm PLEASE I am all ears ---- adoption, donation maybe even research to help someone else--- I just don't know how to go about it. All I know is that I definately don't want to destroy them.

Thanks and God Bless,

Michelle {Pennsylvania}

[MIRANDA12503]

Welcome to the site!!

Have you talked with your RE about options. I would think they would have some information on embryo adoption. My DH and I looked into embryo adoption a few years back when we were working with surrogate.


I wish you all the luck.

Miranda

[jenedens6102]

Embryo adoption is the route I'd go. I had the option of choosing whether to donate them to my RE's office for anyone with a need to use or to a particular person. There is always the option of donating the embryos for medical research but I'm not a fan of that option at all. I will warn you since this is your first post that we cannot and do not condone talk of donating them through this forum. But I do appreciate your desire to give your embryos the best chance at life. I hope your research leads you to the best possibility to do just that.

[kxz673]

jm5mc, My husband and I talked about it and we decided to donate them to another couple having fertility problems. It is really a personal choice. You can save then, donate them to science for practice with icsi etc., you can give them to another couple etc. Whatever you decide will be your choice, Good luck.

Kristin

[mondk]

I think the website snowflakes.org has info on how to donate/adopt out your embryos. Personally, I would give them to another IF couple...but that is just me. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Blessings, Michelle

[SchmennaLeigh]

Friends of our donated them to a close set of friends who were experiencing similar issues.

[jencat215]

I am glad that you don't want to destroy them and that you want to do something with them. I am a research scientist. If I was in your position I would probably donate some and give some to research. Research is important- it was necessary for all the successes we have here! If I knew someone who was in need, I would donate to them too. Do what your heart tells you. How does your DH feel about it?

Congratulations on your baby boy!

[adwalker]

Jencat, do you know what kind of research they would do on them? Personally, I am all for research, but the thought of not knowing exactly what was done with my embryos would bother me. It's like leaving it to the discretion of anybody. It would be nice if you could donate them to a particular cause.

[futuremom2b]

How many do you have? My DH and I have only 2 and feel like those two are a gift... We MAY go back for round two, but I don't know yet... Gotta get this one out first!

[jencat215]

Originally Posted by adwalker

Jencat, do you know what kind of research they would do on them? Personally, I am all for research, but the thought of not knowing exactly what was done with my embryos would bother me. It's like leaving it to the discretion of anybody. It would be nice if you could donate them to a particular cause.

This is not my field, but I believe that they use embryos that are not genetically viable for stem cell research. Most likely they will practice pgd techiques and other practices currently in use. Maybe they would practice freeze/thaw protocols to see how viable the embryo is after these techinques. You could ask your RE what their practice is, and if you don't like it, call around to other centers. I believe the researchers/REs will be honest with you and explain what they would plan to do. They would be grateful for your donation because even if all they would do is use your embryos to practice their techniques, this may in turn help another couple... I hope you find the right place for your embryos.

[Dona]

I know I'm putting the cart before the horse but I'm already having a mental struggle on what to do with embryos. My hope is that we'll get pregnant this time and use up any and all frozen embryos over the next several years, so we DON'T have to make a decision.

DH and I feel exactly the same about our embryos...they are little copies of US, our biological children and while we completely understand the pain of not being able to have children easily, we struggle SO bad mentally about giving them to another couple...those are OUR biological children and we feel it's like birthing them and giving them away, or just giving them away. If somebody else used them, then we'd have full biological children out there that we'd never know...I think THAT is the main thing we both struggle with. For those who can and do donate them, I admire that tremendously, I wish I had that in my heart to do, but I don't at this time and it makes me feel like a bad person because IF I needed a donor embryo, I doubt I'd hesitate one second....I sound like such a hypocrit!!!!!

This is such a difficult decision that I know so many of us struggle with what to do......it's tough, but I do pray that we can use ALL of ours up, give each and every viable one a chance to become a live baby!!!

Thanks for listening!

[jencat215]

Originally Posted by Dona

I know I'm putting the cart before the horse but I'm already having a mental struggle on what to do with embryos. My hope is that we'll get pregnant this time and use up any and all frozen embryos over the next several years, so we DON'T have to make a decision.

DH and I feel exactly the same about our embryos...they are little copies of US, our biological children and while we completely understand the pain of not being able to have children easily, we struggle SO bad mentally about giving them to another couple...those are OUR biological children and we feel it's like birthing them and giving them away, or just giving them away. If somebody else used them, then we'd have full biological children out there that we'd never know...I think THAT is the main thing we both struggle with. For those who can and do donate them, I admire that tremendously, I wish I had that in my heart to do, but I don't at this time and it makes me feel like a bad person because IF I needed a donor embryo, I doubt I'd hesitate one second....I sound like such a hypocrit!!!!!

This is such a difficult decision that I know so many of us struggle with what to do......it's tough, but I do pray that we can use ALL of ours up, give each and every viable one a chance to become a live baby!!!

Thanks for listening!

Hey- everyone feels differently and there is no right or wrong way to feel. You are not a hypocrit. You are a human with human feelings. I too hope you get to have beautiful babies with each and every one of your embies, or at least as many as you want.

I have always felt strongly about donating blood since I am O-, the universal donor. Last Tuesday I had to have a transfusion and am so grateful to that O- donor. I know it is not the same, but if you feel like you want to donate something, donate blood! That way you will give life to someone else. You don't have to do that to be a good person either- I just wanted to put in a plug for blood donation because it saved my life...

[Dona]

Thanks for your reply, I feel better.

I'm a huge supporter of blood donation myself!! My sister's life was saved last October by a blood donation, when her "missed" miscarriage nearly cost her her life. so I'm very thankful.

I've been donating for almost 20 years! I remember when I earned my "gallon donor" pen, years ago, was working at Wal-Mart and the store recognized me with a plaque because my donation that put me over a gallon was donated at their "drive" in the......of all places, infant clothing section!!!

[Banjo]

Hi all am new here, There seems to be alot of success in this site - I see a few BFP's - congrats to you all and my best wishes to those waiting for results. I just been through another IVF ICSI cycle and all my eggs collected were of poor quality - only one of the "poor quality' eggs has fertilised -if the cells devide tonight they will ET tomorrow - if the wee embie stops growing then its back to the drawing board. I need all the help I can get if I am going to have a baby by all accounts as been TTC for 6 years now with 2 Miscarriages (1 of them a D&C due to wee heart beat stopping at exact point I was having my scan- it's just so hard. . Anyway would be good to hear more from some of the ladies here.

BJ

[jencat215]

Originally Posted by Banjo

Hi all am new here, There seems to be alot of success in this site - I see a few BFP's - congrats to you all and my best wishes to those waiting for results. I just been through another IVF ICSI cycle and all my eggs collected were of poor quality - only one of the "poor quality' eggs has fertilised -if the cells devide tonight they will ET tomorrow - if the wee embie stops growing then its back to the drawing board. I need all the help I can get if I am going to have a baby by all accounts as been TTC for 6 years now with 2 Miscarriages (1 of them a D&C due to wee heart beat stopping at exact point I was having my scan- it's just so hard. . Anyway would be good to hear more from some of the ladies here.

BJ

BJ. I think it would be best for you to start your own thread because this one probably won't that that much attention. Since you are IVF, look under Infertility Treatments, then IVF, then hit Post Thread. Of course, you are welcome to post anywhere you want on any thread you want (the IVF one is just a suggestion). But more people will read it and if you post under IVF, then more of the IVF girls will read it and be able to exchange advice.

Best of luck to you !